Living Joyfully in Troubled Times- Some Items of Practical Application and Inspiration

In Relief Society today, we had a wonderful discussion regarding Living Joyfully in Troubled Times, a lesson from the Ezra Taft Benson manual. I think it also was refreshing to talk about life, and the fact that we all have afflictions, whether visible to others or not. I'm glad the lesson went as it did, and while I don't mind that I didn't get to share much more of my prepared materials, I thought it might be beneficial to some to have reference to these items.

There are some great talks by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, a personal favorite of mine. I love these ones about hope and how we mere mortals can be happy, successful, and handle the trials life gives us.

• "Plow in Hope"- By utilizing the Atonement, we access the gifts of the Holy Ghost, which “filleth with hope and perfect love” (Moro. 8:26).
• "Hope Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" -Real hope is much more than wishful musing. It stiffens, not slackens, the spiritual spine.
• "Apply the Atoning Blood of Christ" -Christ paid such an enormous, enabling price for us! Will we not apply His Atonement in order to pay the much smaller price required for personal progress?
• "Notwithstanding My Weakness"- Read this one. Read it.
• "Brightness of Hope"-“What is it that ye shall hope for?” Moroni wrote. “Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ” (Moro. 7:41; see also Alma 27:28). From this triumphal act, resulting in the eventual resurrection of all mankind, so many lesser hopes derive their significance!

A handout with some 70 different coping activities for stress and frustration was passed out today. What I didn't mention due to lack of time was HOW we deal with something is incredibly important. Consider this quote by President Benson: 

"'Men are that they might have joy' (2 Nephi 2:25). Our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. He expects us to be happy. But there is no happiness in a letting down of standards. There is no happiness when you fail to live according to your convictions, according to that which you know to be right. It is so easy to form the habit of taking it just a little easy on certain things. It is so easy to form the habit of faultfinding, or criticizing, of carrying in our hearts reservations regarding certain things in the Church. It is so easy for us to become a bit bitter, and then dwell on that, to become sad and carry a sad face with us. A sad face never won a battle in war or love."

It can be tempting to retreat into an ostrich mode, hiding our heads in the sand when it gets to be too much for us to handle. And in hiding, we instead of facing problems, we soundly abuse ourselves, calling ourselves lazy, incapable, slothful, not enough, failures, and then retreat to a place of distraction. I can understand that. Escapism is an alluring option when our woes and tribulations have no end in sight. Me? I love reading. I really love reading. A while ago, when Andrew was out of town on a business trip and stress was oozing from my eyeballs, what did I do? Not the dishes, that's for sure. I read 10 books in five days. I'm a relatively fast reader, and it didn't even take me whole days of reading to do it. In the time that I wasn't reading, I was looking around at the mess, beating myself up some more, and then picking up another book. NOT the way to fix a problem.

What is the way to fix the problem. Do something about it, no matter how small. As Spock, a personal hero of mine, once said: "One can begin to reshape the landscape with a single flower." This is in direct agreement with what Elder Holland taught:

"...Try not to be overwhelmed with your task. Don't assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to "stand still" or "be still"- and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education."
                                                                                              ("Like a Broken Vessel")

In addition to physical activities to help you feel better, you can also call on the power of music. Hymns are a beautiful way to inspire and lift your heart and mind. I find the following hymns to be especially adroit at nourishing my soul. I encourage you to read and ponder on the words, and read the scripture references.

• "Ye Simple Souls Who Stray" (No. 118). This has four of my favorite verses in all of the hymnal. 
• "Come Unto Him" (No. 114).
• "Does the Journey Seem Long?" (No. 127).
• "There Is Sunshine in My Soul Today" (No. 227)
• "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" (No. 214). These lyrics are a poem written during the Civil War, and the message is one of perpetual application: No matter the darkness, the hate, the despair, remember that "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep! The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men!"

But music need not be holy only to be inspirational and just what we need. It is an incredible tool available to us in many forms! I love classical music, particularly of the Romantic era. I listen to operas and ballet scores throughout the day. For extra drive during cleaning, I like to listen to video game music- those songs are propelling in their drives and themes, and really make attacking that pile of dishes or laundry seem like an epic battle of light and darkness, and you the courageous hero.

If you want something with a good and bouncy beat, Mindy Gledhill is a cute artist with happy songs. And swing/big band music. A little Frank Sinatra can make me smile any time. A variety of music will help keep you rounded out in your varying moods and needs. Music is versatile; be versatile and creative in how you use it.

Remember that when making comparisons of your weaknesses to others strengths, you are hurting yourself and the other person. By assigning perfection and strength to the other person, you may not be able to see or accept the fact that he or she is currently having a difficult, and desperately in need of some help. You will miss the opportunity to help, to serve, and the other person will miss the chance to be helped and served. Comparing yourself to other people hurts everyone. Compare yourself instead to what you'd like to be: more like our Savior. President Benson taught:

Let your minds be filled with the goal of being like the Lord, and you will crowd out depressing thoughts as you anxiously seek to know him and do his will. "Let this mind be in you," said Paul. (Philip. 2:5.) "Look unto me in every thought," said Jesus. (D&C  6:36.) And what will follow if we do? "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee." (Isa. 26:3.)

We will never be alone if we live as we should, because our Father will always be with us to bless us. He wants us to be successful. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to achieve the good goals we set. He will do His part if we do our part.

One truth we must keep in mind is the beautiful fact God's "work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). You are part of that work and glory. YOU are part of the glory of God, you and your progression along the path to perfection. "To live perfectly is to live happily. To live happily is to grow in spiritual strength towards perfection. Every action performed in accord with God's will is part of that growth" (Benson). The way of the Lord is happiness and hope. 

Near the end of the lesson, I spoke of Mary Magdalene outside the tomb of Jesus Christ. The Lord isn't always where you expect Him to be, and if you are so determined to find Him in one particular spot, you may just miss the fact that He's right behind you. If you would like more on that, you can read Get Your Head Out of the Tomb. Additional discussion on being happy in our circumstances can be read in How to Be a Blossoming Flower. Please note that these are thoughts of my own, and I do not equate them to doctrine. But hey, these thoughts helped me- maybe they can help you, too.

I'd just like to end this pseudo-lesson (everything I didn't say in RS today) by saying that if nothing else, we can be glad that Jesus is the Christ, this is His living church, and the gospel is the way to salvation. Jesus is the LIVING Christ. ALL things will be made right through the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. ALL things. That's why when no matter how dark the night, no matter how bitter the weeping that may endure the night, joy will come in the morning.

Introducing the Young Prince Charles

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! AN ROYAL INTRODUCTION!

Hello again, family and friends. I know that it has been a while since you have heard from this source of news, but I assure you all that we are still alive. The healing, new (lack of) sleep schedule, continuing lack of sleep, and familial visits has made me rather reticent in my communications in this venue. Though fully equipped with this more than adequate excuse, I still offer my apologies and condolences to all persons who have been waiting anxiously to see our adorable baby. Worry not, dear ones, for the wait is over.

I know that a lot of new moms like to share their birth stories via blog. I think that's wonderful for them, but I opt out of that experience except for a sum up of the day. It happened. Charlie was born healthy, happy, and absolutely perfect in every way possible.

Charlie displaying an adorable little suit from Grandmama

That is a picture of little Charlie just one week old. He's pretty cute. Below you will enjoy looking at our first family portrait, taken when he was three weeks old. Charlie's little shirt matches his daddy's green polo, and I think that's just about the best thing I've ever done with my life. I'm very proud. I love my little family. I call Charlie my little Prince. 

Charlie modelling an attractive Instrument of Peace (a "pacifier" to the layman)

I take special pictures on his monthly birthdays, but it doesn't always work out so well. And by not always, I mean not ever. But it's fun to try and he's endearing when he throws himself away from candles and cake and ice cream. Don't worry- Andrew and I aren't feeding him all that junk food. No, we eat it in his honor right after blowing out the candle on his behalf.

NOTE: I am unable to find the camera at the moment. How unsurprising. I shall bring forth more recent pictures when I unearth the hiding piece of photographic technology.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Prince Charlie and Andrew. Little Prince was smiling right up to the moment the photographer actually snapped the picture, and I love that little lip.

Charlie making an exhibition of the world's cutest lower lip

Since bringing the young Prince home, both Mother's Day and Father's Day have passed. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the critical roles of parents, and how much they do, and what a large and devastating impact it makes when they DON'T do. But those are deeper thoughts saved for another post. This one is fluffy and all about showing off our cute baby and proving that we're still alive. To achieve those ends, here are some more pictures.

Tiny Charlie wearing his daddy's Luigi hat.

Charlie's precious cheek receiving kisses.

Charlie climbing up Mt. Daddy

Charlie carrying on the cow tradition

The past two months have been filled with new challenges, many laughs, a camera that runs away all the time, long nights, long days, and plenty of joyfulness despite the hard parts of dealing with new parenthood. We love our baby, and we love each other. When the going gets tough, we relish in the fact that we have each other. We're still best friends, we're still here for each other, even if that's in a less-than-helpful-because-I'm-sleep-deprived sort of way. We've had some pretty low points while getting here, but we've had even higher ones. Charlie always knows the perfect times to coo, smile, gasp, and charm us right back into a cheerful mood.

I love Andrew. I love Charlie. I love my life, even when it's hard. No matter how great the trial- physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual- we can not only make it through, but we can conquer, we can come out on top, triumphant, stronger, and ready to thrive. How? By centering our lives on the gospel of Jesus Christ. It works. It will always work. It will always work because Christ's Atonement works. His Atonement always works when we apply it correctly and faithfully.

I rejoice in knowing that my family has the opportunity to be sealed for eternity. I have up days and down days, but at the end of every day, I give thanks for the greatest blessings.

Whenever I Try to Write About Us, I Write About Him Instead

Andrew happens to be one of my favorite people. In fact, I love him. I love him a lot. We make a pretty great couple, I think, and for a variety of reasons. I thought that I would take this opportunity to write about what makes us a working, functioning, happy, thrilled to be in love couple.

First of all, our couple song. It isn't your typical love song, but it's ours. And it makes me curl my toes with happiness every time I hear it. Andrew plays it for me on his trombone when I ask him to. Isn't that sweet?

Andrew feeds me. Sometimes literally by placing food in my mouth, and sometimes figuratively by bringing home the bacon. Actually, he always brings home the bacon. Andrew is a wonderful provider. We always have enough, and even though I tend to over worry when it comes to money, he is good at budgeting and being realistic.

Andrew works hard at his job, and I maintain the home. I love being a homemaker. I like cleaning and baking and organizing and making menus and folding laundry. When I can't, though, because I'm sick, Andrew is always there to step in and save the day. He is a champion Dish Doer, and every time I see a clean sink, I fall a little bit more in love with him.

We make each other smile. Not just nice, photogenic smiles. Real, big, sometimes slightly unattractive because they're too real smiles. And when I smile that second kind of smile, Andrew tells me I'm beautiful, that he loves my eyes when I smile like that because he can see the sparkle in them. And then I smile all the more because I feel beautiful and sparkling.

But we don't just stop at smiling, oh no. We laugh. When I first met Andrew, I thought he was a bit of a loon, but I knew that he was always good for a laugh. He is very quick on his feet, ready to banter with you, spinning words around as fast as I do, and he comes up with the most magnificent puns. Andrew tells me that I could do stand-up comedy, but anyone who has heard me try to tell a joke knows that this would not be the best idea. I think that I'll stick to writing!

Andrew doesn't just support me when I'm laughing, like that picture just above. He also catches me when I fall, even when I'm falling over because I'm being ridiculous instead of intelligent. Say, for example, that I was walking up a hill with him, only instead of walking I was skipping and singing some awesome opera, and I just happened to fall backwards in a stumbling chaotic fiasco into his arms. When Andrew is around, I never fall far before I am wrapped up in strong, warm, loving arms, and I feel safe and secure.

We also take the time to share sassy moments together. No relationship is complete when both parties are some completely timid and docile as to lack entertainment and fun. Balance must be achieved, and laughter must be shared.

Did you know that Andrew is a wonderful lead? He is. When we were still in the getting to know each other stage of our acquaintanceship, I found out that he knew how to swing and ballroom. I demanded that he dance with me, the word "demanded" meaning that I put on some music, grabbed his leg, and dragged him out to the hallway so we could have room to waltz. We still enjoy impromptu dancing.

He's a fantastic lead, and the perfect height for me. I would follow him anywhere. He leads me through the most difficult challenges that I face, often by helping me to keep my focus on Christ. The best part is that he lets me help him, too. When he needs help, he turns to me, and then I get the chance to take his hand, and then we make it through together.

I love words. I love to read them, play with them, write them, ingest and digest them, and have a great time with them. Andrew also loves to read, and that makes him intelligent. He has a wide range of interests, and he makes it a point to learn about them through reading. Not only does this make for stellar conversations on a plethora of subjects ranging from history to culture to politics to class literature to scientific advancements to self-improvement to the gospel, it also makes for extraordinary word games. Like Scrabble and Boggle.

This is one of our more mild games, but one of which I had a photo I could share with you. But words like lave, hap, quantum, sine, taw, and tosh have made it into our games. Along with Old English words that we get into debates over. I think they should still be allowed. I read them enough.

We have inside jokes and special memories, like a wonderful series of books that became a crucial part of our relationship. We still quote it and laugh together.

Andrew is science and math and engineering where I am literature and art and fresh pineapple. I don't actually think that fresh pineapple is a course of study, but I wanted to keep the parallelism going, and I was short one scholastic or professional area. I love it when Andrew will give me lectures. He pulls out his trusty white board, and he explains to me the projects in which he is involved. He tells me about computer communication protocols using words like "sending a cute packet to your grandma" instead of UDP and FPGA. He is a natural teacher. He is also a natural learner, and listens to me as I wax philosophic about film adaptations of my favorite books, why students should not be forced to read The Catcher in the Rye, or why studying literature and history is so important.

Not only do we appreciate each other's strong suits in areas of expertise, we also share a great love of music. While I focus mainly on voice and piano, and he plays the trombone expertly, we manage to bring our tastes of music together for great enjoyment on all parts. When we are not playing together, he teaches me about new genres that I haven't much experience with, like classic jazz. And then I go back to listening to my Frank Sinatra and tell him to keep his jazz. And then we listen to Classical or Romantic or something else together. He lets me show him lots of musicals that I grew up with, like Pirates of Penzance and other required shows.

We do the important things in life together, even if that means taking way too many courses in a semester so that we can graduate together. We make decisions together, we eat dinner together, we go to church together, and we wake up every morning together.

We do our best to help each other accomplish important goals, like saving the Princess Zelda. I couldn't get out of the first stage without falling off houses and cliffs, and I so desperately wanted to save the princess! So Andrew played the game for me while I watched it like a movie, eating popcorn, offering useless advice, and memorizing all the songs for the Ocarina of Time.

We find areas of common interest that aren't purely academic or mental. We find things to entertain us, like bike rides and movies to obsess over. We like to watch the Avengers movies together, even though I spend a portion of each movie hiding my head in his shoulder because I don't like the scary or violent parts. He patiently screens those sections for me, and narrates what is going on so that I don't miss too much of the story line.

I would now like to take a break from trying to put me into some of these sections, and continue talking only about how great Andrew is. I would like to point out that if someone can look handsome in a band uniform, they are obviously very good looking.

Andrew is incredibly talented when it comes to music. One summer he put together a quartet of trombone players, arranged a bunch of music, and went off strolling in parades and such to his own music! And he even looks dapper in his fine outfit.

He buys me flowers, music, tablecloths, pearls and diamonds, kitchen gadgetry, books, exercise gear, fingernail polish, and anything else that he thinks will make me happy. He sends me out to visit family when I need them, even though he misses me terribly while I'm gone. He supports me bringing siblings out here, for my benefit or theirs, for a month at a time. He sees when I'm having a down day, and tells me to call my mother, sisters, or friends Tanney and Michele, because he knows they make me happy.

He takes me places so I can dress up. He loves it when I dress up, and he tells me that I'm beautiful. He makes me feel beautiful whether I've done my hair and makeup or not. He makes me want to smile that smile that makes my eyes sparkle, just because it makes him happy to see it.

I started this post by trying to describe how Andrew and I are a good match, and how we help to lift each other up. I ended up writing about how great Andrew is. Since the day we were married two years, six months, and two days ago, we have had a lots of ups and a lot of downs. Many of those downs were related to my health. Andrew never gave up, and he kept me going through it all.

I may be a lover of words, but I'm absolute garbage at writing poetry. But I can say this: Andrew is a wonderful man. He is a wonderful husband. In April, he is going to be a wonderful father. I do what I can to lift him, strengthen him, help him, encourage him, and fill him out every day. Our marriage is not one sided. I don't need to be extra concerned with making sure that I get taken care of, because he's busy doing that. I get to make sure that he is taken care of. We focus on each other, and on the Lord. That is why our marriage works. That is why our relationship is better, not shaken, after our hardships. And I love Andrew. I love him more every day. He makes me happy, and I do everything that I can to make him happy, too.

Happy Valentine's Day, Andrew Mine Prince.

Loves, hugs, and kisses, The Happiest Woman In the World

Blue or Pink?

Read this post from last time first. Here is the link: The Girl and the Awful Morning. Go read that, and then come read this. Ready, go!

NOTE: Really. Go read it now. Before reading this.

NOTE: Read it? Good. Carry on.

The girl sat in the waiting room. She was not embarrassed. She was not uncomfortable. She was excited. She was anxious. She had woken up early, and kept herself from getting distracted by anything, not even the wonderfully warm shower water. She managed to shave in a reasonable amount of time. It was amazing how much quicker that whole shaving business was if you bothered doing it more than once a week. When she stepped out of the shower, she had plenty of time to do her makeup, hair, get into her pre-selected outfit, and eat a nice breakfast. She was feeling rather pretty.

In the car, she wasn't stressed about turning left, even if there were lots of people on the road during morning traffic. Not only did she know where she was going this time, she wasn't driving. She was comfortably seated in the passenger seat, sending happy little smiles over to her handsome husband driver. He looked back at her, and laughed. She laughed, too. They must have had the same thought.

"Remember four weeks ago today when you were running late, and had no idea where you were going?" he asked.

She gave him a disdainful look of her best snobbery. Apparently they were not having the same thought. "I have decided to put that portion of my past firmly into my past, and not think about it."

He laughed again. As he accelerated after a red light turned green, he shot her a quick smile that let her know that he actually was thinking the same thing as she. And he was just as excited.

"Should we let our families know that we're on the way?" she asked.

"And ask their guesses?" he offered as a fun idea.

"Agreed!" she declared while whipping out her phone. She dialed the number for her parent's house, and was startled when her mother's voice answered. "Mama! You answered the phone!"

"Was I supposed to let it ring?"

"No. I was just... Well, I guess that I don't desperately need to get hold of you right this moment, so it is in keeping with traditional mom form to pick up the phone. Well, I'm just glad you answered. We're on our way!"

Her mother gasped. "Oh, so early? Yay! How exciting!"

"Yes, and we are now accepting guesses and bets," she said with a laugh.

She heard a multitude of muffled noises as Mama asked Daddy and the various kids around them for their input. "Well, it looks like Karsten is the only one who thinks pink, and he only picked that because he wants you to be happy," said Mama. "Daddy says you're doomed to no pink, since you want it so much."

"Stop cursing me!"

Mama laughed and said, "Call us and let us know!"

"Will do, Mama. Stay by the phone!"

As she hung up, she looked at her husband. "I've been cursed. And Daddy knows everything, so he must be right."

Her husband laughed again. He was happy this morning. It was a good morning. They were getting close, and both were anxiously excited.

"I was really certain that it was going to be blue, and then I had a dream that they did this all without me there, and I was really mad at them for not waiting for me. I mean, how rude! And then I didn't want them to tell me yet, but they did anyway, and it was pink. But I'm not sure how accurate this whole thing is without me present," she said in a thoughtful voice. Maybe more distracted than thoughtful. They could see the building now.

They jumped out of the car and quick marched to the building, holding hands like excited little kids going to the fair. She dragged him into the elevator. There was no one else in there. She confidently pressed the button for the third floor herself. When the doors dinged shut, he grabbed her close for a kiss. She giggled.

The elevator opened up, and they walked up to the check-in counter together. There was only one person in line in front of them, and it was soon their turn.

"I'd like to check-in," she said, and gave her name, doctor, and proof of insurance. There was scrolling, clicking, and a quick brush of the hair along her neck by her husband. The nurse stood up and went to the printer.

"You don't need to fill this out, just hold onto it for checkout," the nurse said while handing over a blue sheet of paper on a clipboard. "Go ahead a take a seat. They'll call your name when they're ready for you."

It was a much better morning than four weeks ago, she thought. She sat in the waiting room. She was not embarrassed, she was not uncomfortable. She was with her husband, and she hadn't done anything silly or wrong. She was excited. He was excited.

"Natashya?"

They both jumped up and ran over the lady in the doorway, who laughed. "You have an empty bladder, right?"

"Uh, no. They said they'd need a "sample" before the appointment," she said. Now she was uncomfortable.

The new nurse who had called her name said, "Well, you can just stroll back through the doors like you own the place and leave your sample back there, and come back up here."

Then her husband and her purse followed the nurse back into a different room, and she was left out there alone, to walk back across the whole waiting room while people stared at her, and stroll through the doors that said "Personnel Only" in big letters, all so she could tinkle in a cup. Sheesh. She started walking. She was embarrassed. She was uncomfortable. The same people who had watched her make a mad dash for one door now watched her walk slowly to the other door.

Once the ignominious task was completed, she scurried back to the appointment room to be reunited with her husband and her purse. She was excited again.

An hour or two later, everything was done. They'd met with all the different people, and they had what they really wanted with them in their hands. Who knew that black and white photos could be so misleading? Because obviously, this little picture was actually only one color.

They called their families, and made ready their announcement:

Well and Good

There are a lot of rather nice people in my acquaintance. It's true. People that I had no idea knew that I was ill, or even that they knew about this blog, came and asked me today how I was doing today. To all of those people, thank you for caring. You are so very sweet and kind.

But you see, what's even more important than my followers is grammar. That's right. GRAMMAR. And do you know the correct response to the query "How are you today?" Andrew did his best, and answered with confidence.

NOTE: Andrew is the most handsome man alive. He looks very handsome and good in his suit. I can't draw. Just imagine him looking handsome and very presentable, with a perfectly knotted tie and all. Or you can take my image more literally if you'd like.

Now everyone who's read more than two of my posts knows two things. 1) I love Andrew more than anything, and think that he's the smartest, handsomest, sweetest, manliest, handiest, wonderfulest stud in the world, and 2) Grammar Abuse happens to be one of my all-time biggest pet peeves! These two facts put me into a difficult predicament whenever Andrew happens to say "good" instead of "well" when it definitely should be the adverb. That's why I have to look at him in both horror and awe at the same time, which is very hard to capture on Microsoft Paint, let me tell you!

But while I was thinking about how I love Andrew no matter how much he abuses my darling adverbs, a thought came to me. A thought about wellness and goodness, and how the two are so connected. So I will answer inquiries about my health and then give an idea about how to further the wellness of us all.

How am I doing?

"Very well, thank you, how are you?" That's what my baby sister Teannka says every time someone inquires after her health. She's cute. As to how I am doing these days, the answer is similar. I'm doing well for the most part. I'm healing, but not in some huge puff of magical smoke. There are definite improvements, however, that are quite noticeable.

 VS.

No, not all days are pink and red sparklies and hearts, but days are getting better. I'm getting better. I'm less sick, and more healthy, and more happy. I have more energy and strength. This is great news, isn't it? And I can only account it to God, since I'm not taking any medicine right now. I am going to the chiropractor, but I still give the praise and glory to God.

Andrew's grammatical faux pas made me think, though. I'm doing well, but am I doing good? When Jesus Christ healed the infirm man at the pool of Bethesda, he said unto him, "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk" (John 5:8). And that man did exactly as his Lord commanded him. But do you think that maybe that man was walking somewhere? Just walking around is all very well and good for a stroll in the park, but it won't get you anywhere in life. You need a direction. I need a direction. Christ is the direction. But how to walk in that direction?

I see that once infirm man carrying his bed, going down the streets. He may have seen others who were in need, who lacked, who hurt, who suffered, who longed for relief. His hands full of bedding, and his heart full of gratitude, he must have wished to do something for those still languishing in pain in this world. Having been healed not long ago, I am sure that he desired to do as the Lord and to reach out to others. He desired to do good.

Doing good isn't just a nice intention to be put into effect when we have the time or inclination. "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from this world" (James 1:27). Doing good, serving others, is the manifestation of true religion in our lives. When we follow Jesus and his gospel, then our attitudes towards other people change. We are filled with more love, with more desire to lift, to assist, to help, and to reach out.

I fully intend to put my new found energy, wellness, and strength to good use. I fully believe that doing good and serving other people is the way to be happy. I believe that the more that I focus on lifting the burdens of others, the more that my burdens will be lifted. God gives no commandments unto the children of men without first preparing a way for them to accomplish that commandment (1 Nephi 3:7). Doing good is a commandment. God will help me to do it. I also believe that doing good for others will help me to become more self-reliant and even stronger. I will have to start out softly, but I will get stronger and have more endurance as I continue to work out my kinks and knots.

Walking towards Christ is walking towards life. Look to God and live. Christ spent his life reaching out to others who were suffering so much less than himself. He looked outwards and ministered. I want to be known as Jesus of Nazareth, my Savior and King. I want to be known as a person who "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38).

PS. For other posts about happiness, see How To Be A Blossoming Flower and How to Be Happy With Your Miserable Life.

A Lovely Day-iversary!

Two years ago today, a wonderful thing happened. A tall handsome bloke came and interrupted me from my frantic typing. He saw the dazed, somewhat manic gleam in my eye. He became slightly concerned. Because I am a loving and caring individual, I attempted to tone down my high stress levels, and pay attention to him and him alone despite the fact that this paper was due in just about 12 hours. A paper that I had just started. A paper that was the major research paper at the end of the semester. Rats. But I paid attention to the tall handsome bloke.

AND GOOD THING I DID! How else would I wind up with this gorgeous shiny thing on my finger? Or this magnificent bouquet of my favorite kind of roses?

That is a pretty ring. It has a large sparkly thing on top, and loads of small sparkly things on the band. I wouldn't let Andrew hold my left hand for a week. ESPECIALLY if we were in the sunshine. Nope. No way that anyone was allowed to cover that sucker up. My ring bling needed some flaunting!

I won't tell you how he did it quite yet. I will tell you that it involved his sneaky roommates, a coffee table, the "engagement circles" on BYU campus, a favorite passage from Cyrano de Bergerac, and three too many rings. I'm not telling you the whole story because I'm writing up the whole fantastic scene in "The Story."

That picture pretty accurately describes the beginning of our relationship. And most of the rest of our relationship up until about the point where we figured that it was alright to actually like each other. "The Story" is, believe it or not, the story of how Andrew and I found each other. It started with me falling in love with him before I'd ever even seen him- or heard of him for that matter. It involved cold. I don't like being cold. (I changed the names in the story, because I never want to tell stories about people that they don't want to hear. And it's funny, because people are guessing at who is who. It makes me laugh.)

Andrew and I complement each other. We can fill in with our expertise in areas where the other doesn't exactly overflow with that same competency. He is my rock. He is steady, dependable, honest, wonderful. When I get panicked, he remains calm and helps bring me back to some semblance of sanity. He makes me laugh all the time. He has a dashing and quick wit that keeps you on your toes- and at times a hand on your stomach, trying to help the ache in your abs from laughing too hard for too long! Andrew is also good at math, science, logic, and other (somewhat superfluous) skills. He can fix my computer when it breaks, which is good, because technology has a tendency to spontaneously combust when exposed to my person for too long. Andrew is also intelligent and well-read, meaning that we can have intellectual as well as silly conversations. That is a very nice quality to have in your life's companion!

And I had one of the best bridal shower treats ever at my hometown shower. (I had two-one up at school with my friends, and the other back home with all my other friends and my family.) Behold! Edible man!

My friend Jeni took one of my favorite engagement pictures and had a custom cake made. Not only was it one of the best cakes I'd ever eaten, it had Andrew printed on it. Printed on white chocolate. I told everyone that I was the only one allowed to eat Andrew's likeness, and that was that. They humored me, and I was happy. I took the portion of chocolate that had his face on it, and left (most) of the cake to the ladies. I can be a pretty jealous woman when it comes to my man and white chocolate. You have to admit, though, that's a pretty adorable picture, right?

Yes, it's true. I'm rather fond of my Andrew. He took my overly horrid evening and made it one of the best days in my life. It made it ridiculously impossible to focus for the rest of the night, but hey, what can I say? Have you ever tried typing with a brand new ring on your finger? Do you know how much the light plays with diamonds? Thank goodness my teacher allowed me to walk in two minutes late to give him my paper! And thank goodness Andrew gave me such a lovely day!

Exactly four months after that lovely day, Andrew added another ring to my finger. And this time, I got to give him a ring too.

What a lovely day. What a lovely memory. What a lovely beginning.

How To Be A Blossoming Flower

This weekend was General Conference. Every six months, the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints speak to the members around the world to give inspired counsel and commandments from the Lord. We sit around and listen to eight (or ten, for the men) hours of goodness in the form of talks and music. Some of the most inspiring words to me this General Conference were about light and life. I would like to share some of the thoughts that most touched my heart with you.

An oft repeated thought was that if we will draw near to the Lord, then Lord will draw near unto us. The Lord does not expect us to come struggling to Him while He sits there watching us flounder about like a bunch of ducks on the ice. He is not so unkind. President Uchtdorf said quite emphatically that the Lord does not desire to break our spirits! No, the Lord desires to dwell in us, and also to empower us.

Jesus Christ is the Light and Life of the world. President Uchtdorf reminded us that we need never fear that the darkness will triumph over the good. The light of Christ is ever constant and ever available. It is the hope that we can always look to and follow. It is the light that will bless our lives as we allow it into our hearts, and allow it to banish all shadows. Light and dark cannot occupy the same space. Light can fill our souls. It does not need to be filled with darkness or despair.

I think that one of my favorite phrases really ties this all together: 

Bloom where you are planted.

Blooming means to blossom, and to grow- and we don't have to be somewhere specific to do so.

In the New Testament, Jesus Christ gives the parable of the sower. The seeds only grew in the good soil. The seed is the word of God. The soil is our hearts. We can make our hearts to be good soil. We don't have to have hard hearts, or be too busy to take time for God, or to allow concerns to choke out our testimonies of Christ. It takes effort, but we can do it.

Christ gave the parable of the sower (Mark 4:1-20). There are four kinds of soil, but only one allowed the seed to grow. I can make my heart be good soil, the kind that will nourish the good word of God. Potting soil made up of belief, prayer, Scripture study, love, service, and good desires. I can then water and give light (Christ) to the seed. I can bring my soil with me wherever I go because it is inside of me, in my heart. I need not be in a specific location or situation to bloom!

With good potting soil, the Light and Life of the World, and the Living Water, we can bloom where we are planted and make life more beautiful for everyone.

I can bloom, blossom, in the light of Christ, the hope of Christ. The love that Christ has for each of His children is tremendous. That love shines down on us. Like a flower leans towards the sun, we can lean towards the Son. We can grow upwards, and as we do so, we are drawing near to our Lord. The nearer that we draw to the Lord, the more that we can bask in his light.

I will admit something. I don't always feel very at home here in Texas. I moved here less than a year ago. It's my first time in Texas. It's a different climate than anything that I'm used to. There aren't many people my age, or in my situation. I'm far from family. I have a lousy health problem. Am I miserable here? No. Are people here horrible? Not at all! There are many wonderful people here, and I do have friends. But is this what I'm used to? Nope.

But you know what? That's alright. Because I know that Jesus is the Christ, and that light and hope are always available through Him, I can also know that everything is going to be alright.


I can find ways to bloom and grow right here in my home in Texas. It doesn't matter what difficult times are happening in my personal life. It doesn't matter what scary things may be happening in the world. I can find ways to bloom right here.

Christ said that by their fruits ye shall know them. Apples are good food, but they begin as blossoms. By bearing fruit and flowers of kindness and service, I can beautify and bless life for the people around me, giving both food and comfort. The Savior will come, and I'll be one that visited the Savior in prison, and gave Him food and drink, because I will have done it unto one of the least of these His brethren (see Matthew 25: 35-40).

As I blossom, I can produce fruits (cool apples, eh?) and flowers that can help to cheer up other people. I can be a blessing for Andrew. I can beautify and bring joy to the lives of my friends, neighbors, and random people in the grocery store.

Remember that the light and love of Christ are always available to us, His precious children. The sun is sometimes hidden by clouds, but the light and warmth are still there- otherwise it would a freezing night all the time!

"Know that there is darkness in the world, but walk in the light"- Pres. Uchtdorf. Andrew likes this thought. He thinks "walking" is staying, pressing forward, expressing faith, working towards good things. I agree.

Find the good in life. If you can't find a whole lot of good, become the good in life. For yourself, and for the people around you. You can be happy. You can blossom.

Get Your Head Out of the Tomb

He Is Risen by Greg Olsen

On this Easter Sunday, I am grateful for my Savior and His Atonement, His love and His grace. I am grateful for the lesson I learned from Mary Magdalene.

When Mary Magdalene was alone at the sepulchre of the Savior, she was feeling overwhelmed and distraught, so much so that she "stood without the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre" (John 20:11). Mary could not find her Lord. His body was no longer in the tomb. She had come early that morning, "when it was yet dark," to bring oils and spices to anoint Him- in essence, to come and worship Him (John 20:1). 

But He was not where she expected Him to be. 

Mary looked into the sepulchre, and saw the folded linens that had wrapped her Lord. She saw two angels, but she was not satisfied because it was not her Lord. She explained the cause of her sorrow: "They have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him" (John 20:13). Mary could not find her Lord. She did not understand why He was gone, and her grief was doubled at His disappearance.

As she cried by the tomb, Mary "turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus" (John 20:14). She didn't recognize her beloved Lord even when He spoke to her, asking her whom she was seeking (John 20:15). Instead of recognizing Him, she asked Him where HE was, saying, "Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away" (John 20: 15). Mary wanted her Lord, but she didn't recognize Him. Mary knew where her Lord had been when she had last seen Him, and He was there no longer. His body was no longer in the tomb.

"Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master" (John 20:16). Her Lord knew her, He called her by her name. I am sure that the love in His voice pulled her eyes upwards, away from the tomb, and up to His face. And then she recognized Him. Mary found her Lord.

And He wasn't in the tomb.

Sometimes there are awful moments in life. Sometimes life becomes dark. Sometimes when we look to find our Lord, He is not where we expect Him to be. Sometimes we are looking so hard within the dark and empty tomb that we cannot recognize the Lord when He standing behind us, coming near to us. Our relationship with Him changes as we change, and as our needs and strengths change. 

When my illness becomes very bad, it is easy to look within the dark place of worry, pain, fear, anxiety, and sadness. It can be very difficult to focus on anything else. It can be unbearably difficult to attempt to look anywhere else. But where is the Savior? Where is his promised aid and comfort? Where is the Lord who knows my name, my pain, and is my salvation?

Get your head out of the tomb, and turn around. Look up, not down. Look to the light, not to the dark. Find hope, not despair. Listen for His voice.

How to Be Happy With Your Miserable Life

Did any of you wonder why I stopped blogging for months? It's not like I have an apparent excuses like I did while in school. I'm a stay at home wife, I don't have any children, and I don't have a job other than to keep our home tidy, beautiful, and well stocked with baked goods. It is obvious, therefore, that a lack of writing is not due to a lack of time. And it's not just that drawing all of those pictures takes a whole lot of effort.  More than may be apparent at first glance. No, it goes a little further than that.

For the past year or so, I've been dealing with a health problem. I can't tell you what it is since I don't know what it is. Despite visiting many doctors, including specialists, we still have no diagnosis. I can tell you that it involves pain, limited energy, frustration, fear, and a very limited range of activities. There are days when just about all I can do is lounge on the couch and read books. Although, when I put it that way, my life sounds like an English major's dream- to sit and read all day.

Regardless of my love of reading, being unable to get up and walk around because of the pain becomes very tiresome. It can really chew out and completely ruin your self-respect, and any dignity you wish to maintain. There are days when it's practically impossible to cook because I haven't washed any dishes for the past while. There have been days when I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. Andrew had to carry me. For a girl who loves to dance about, bake, pretty and tidy up, be productive, and fulfill her duties and responsibilities, this has been a difficult time for me.

But I don't hate my miserable life. In fact, I'm a happy woman.

We therefore have a question before us: "Why on earth do you draw such ridiculous pictures and write such brilliantly bizarre blog posts if you're hurting and/or feeling like a lazy scumbag? And how do you manage to find so many funny things?"

Because it makes me happy. That's why. Especially when people look at those posts and laugh, or think, or smile, or pass it on. It makes me feel productive. But more about that productivity stuff in another post. This post is about managing to find the happiness that is all around you, just waiting to be seen and felt.

The answer is in three little words. Faith. Hope. Charity. I'm going to go in reverse order.

Charity. How can you ever be happy when you're sitting around thinking about all of the downers in your life? How can you be happy when you focus on your messy living room, unshaved legs, nasty hair, immobility, and that very empty candy bag? (Well, the candy bag being empty may have cheered you up while you were emptying it into your mouth, but having that candy go to your thighs is not pleasant.) I'll tell you what, you can't. You can't be happy when you focus on that. You have to focus your attention on other people. Find out what makes them happy, and celebrate with them. Find out what's making them sad, and search for a way to make it better. Start with your spouse, your family, your roommates, whoever is closest to you. Serve them. It will make your life light up like a Christmas tree, each time you leave a plate of cookies on a doorstep, sit down and have a chat with someone lonely, or give someone a can of soup when they're ill, another little bulb on your strand of lights clicks on, bringing in a happy color, and a happy bit of dimension to your view on life.

Hope. Faith and hope are so connected, so intertwined. I have hope that tomorrow will be better than today. I hope that I can do better today than yesterday. A better wife, a better friend, a better person, a better Natashya. I have hope. And not just the kind of hope that involves wishing for the snow to go away, or that my pick for the NCAA bracket will win (which they won't, since they've already lost. Whoops.). My hope is an expectation. I expect that my circumstances will get better. I am doing everything that I can to improve my situation, and I have faith that everything will work out. Even if my body continues to hurt, I know that my actions can better my life before I'm healed. I can still find ways to make today better, to get closer to my goals. With my mother's help, I made a schedule. I work on something different every day. If I don't get everything checked off the list, that's alright. I'm still a good person. I tried. And because I'm continuing to try, and because I have a wonderful husband who does so much to help and lift me, and because I have a loving Savior, everything really will be just fine.


Faith. The Lord is omniscient and omnipotent. He is also full of mercy and love. Having faith in His love, in His plan, in His timing will help you to get through the darkest moments. The Savior went through the agony of Gethsemane because of His love for us, and because of that suffering, He can not only cleanse our sins, but also "bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound" (Isaiah 61:1). Do you think that sins are the only chains which bind mankind? What about the chains of pain and suffering, both physical and emotional?

Jesus Christ can heal all wounds, for He understands all sorrows. "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief... Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, stricken of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:3-5). Jesus Christ gave His life for us, lives again for us, and desires to help us in all of our trials. He can heal all of our bruises and stripes. Remember to "cast your cares upon the Lord; for he careth for you" (1 Peter 5:7). He really does.

I don't generally share the glum side of life because there is so much more to rejoice in than to despair over. However, I thought that perhaps since we all have dark moments, maybe the things that I've been learning over the past year will be good for more than just me to know. I do know that there is a way to be happy, even when life is dark and difficult. I do know that I'm more blessed than even I realize sometimes. I do know that there is always a ray of light and hope that we can cling to, and that we can follow. Just hold on to Him, and everything is going to be alright.