Small Sand Toddlers and Slithering Sisterly Tricks

I have multiple sisters. Several sisters. In fact, I have five sisters. Right now, two of them are out in Utah, one doing some student teaching (Megan), and one attending BYU (Bug, commonly referenced as Bugheera by myself). You may recognize Megan from some previous posts, including the story about how we both publicly humiliated ourselves and the speech I gave as her maid of honor. Bugheera is featured in some special Pictorials herself regarding stinky vans and her lousy inability to give directions. Sometimes these two girls manage to get together, and when they do, chaos is the third and permanent member of their trio.

Every Sunday night, my family gets online to video chat via Google Plus. I love hearing stories and seeing faces. It's a great way to stay in touch. But if Megan and Buggy happen to be at the same place while we're trying to talk, then it's more like the rest of us watch them giggle and do lots of this.

That makes it hard to understand anyone at all. But I did manage to hear two stories that I felt deserved some pictures.

One weekend, Buggy and Megan decided to hang out together. On Sunday, they attended church. Bug was hungry during Sunday School, and went for a snack. Apparently, it was the wrong snack to bring into a meeting, because it just so happened to be the most difficult to manage victual in the world.

Megan insisted that she knew the best way to open this treacherous granola bar without making crumbs explode everywhere like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Bug pointed out that the package was already opened, and that Megan's benevolence may in fact just make things worse. Bug lost the fiercely whispered argument, and was promptly proved right when Megan managed to make a mess of it all. The entire granola bar disintegrated in the wrapper. Megan stuffed it under her seat.

If Megan and Bug had been the only attendees at this Sunday School, that trick may have worked. However, a little toddler was also present. He saw the wrapper under the seat and went straight for it. He seized it. He waved his prize about, bellowing like that savage Sand Person from Star Wars, the one that hits Luke upside the head and then raises his stick aloft.

And in case you have no idea what that picture is supposed to be or why it's funny, here. Educate yourself.

The actions of this miniature Tusken Raider gave his surroundings a gentle rain of granola bar crumbs, exactly what Megan and Bug had been desperately hoping to avoid. Whoops.

Later, Megan and Buggy were at home, and decided to try out some fun balancing games. Megan thought it would be a good idea to see if she could balance sitting atop Bug's feet. Megan could feel herself beginning to wobble, but she was determined to give Bug the benefit of the doubt, seeing as Buggy's so strong and all.

It turns out that Megan should have gone with the self-preservation instincts.

Because Megan just wound up square on her noggin, scrunched up like an accordion, and probably sounding like one, too. Bug was most likely laughing uproariously.

They shared these two stories with me, and I laughed at them. I was inspired to make some art out of it. This is a little post to tell my sisters that I love them, and to thank them for the laughs.

Sisters, I love you. Thank you for the laughs.

That is all.

NOTE: Thank you to all who are enjoying The Story and saying nice things about its entertainment value. Andrew and I rather enjoyed reminiscing, even if we didn't enjoy living it at times (the awkward bits). If you missed the last installment, it's The Zero-eth Date. Cheers to reading!

The Speech the Maid of Honor Didn't Get to Give

Hello, dear family and friends! How are you doing? Was your month as wonderfully chaotic and full and wonderful as my own? I'm guessing that, seeing as most of you are related to me, you will be answering "YES, Tash, it most definitely WAS!" And do you know what I say to that? FANTASTIC!

For those of you who don't know, I shall enlighten you. BEHOLD!

Do you remember Megan of Shower Ninja and Musical fiasco fame? Well, that's her, freshly married to her best friend Ray! Huzzah for Meggum and Raymond! The loveliest couple of them all! They were married May 3, 2013 in the Oquirrh Mountain Utah temple. Megan is absolutely radiant! Raymond is so handsome! Wanna see a better personality shot? Of course you do!

Perfect. Ray is smug, and Megan exultant. Congratulations to the both of you!

Raymond, I want to say something to you. I didn't get to give a speech at the wedding, so I'll say what I wanted to say here:

You should know that Megan's name means "priceless treasure, or pearl." She really is a pearl of great price! She is beautiful, isn't she? She has lovely golden curls, fantastic blue eyes that constantly sparkle with merriment, rosy cheeks that blossom like the flowers she loves so much. But Megan's beauty is so many other things, too. It's the way that her laughter simmers just under the surface, ready to burst out of her mouth like bubbles and chimes. It's the way that she can't walk without giving off an air of joie de vie. It's the way that she revels in the glory and beauty with God's creations. It's the way that her love and devotion are clear and visible to anyone who looks. Isn't she so beautiful?

Megan's love is constant, but her expressions of love burst forth in rays and pops of loving sunshine and fireworks. Having to constantly express that affection makes the storage puddle more depleted, and it's harder for her to store up for her pops of natural, un-forced affectionate actions. You won't be starved for love or attention, however, because it doesn't take that long between the bursts for Megan's loving, joyful, and passionate heart to fill up again.

You now have my sister for your wife. You are a very lucky man. Megan brings with her the love of her family, the loyalty of the people whose lives she has touched with laughter, and the pride of those who have seen her grow and develop. Megan is priceless. Megan is a treasure. When I think of you, the words "steadfast," and "devotion" come to mind. Together, you and Megan's life together will be filled with music, laughter, strength, companionship, growth, and wonder. I love you both. To the happy couple!

*End Speech!*

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." 

-Ingrid Bergman

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." 

-Albert Einstein

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." -Plato

Megan, my only older sibling, is a wonderful human, and my best friend. She and I aren't extremely similar in some things. She's the blonde to my brunette, the Marianne to my Elinor, the Ariel to my... strange combination of Flounder, Sebastian, and a more musically talented Scuttle. But we're also so very alike. Ask us about Anne of Green Gables sometime. Or music. Megan is generally more outspoken about her passions than I am, but we share many interests.

I feel like I should receive some sort of credit for their marriage. Years ago, when I was going to school at BYU-I still, I lived in the same house as Megan. We were roomies three out of the four semesters we were there together. It was near Christmas time, and I saw that there was going to be a singalong for Handel's wonderful Messiah. I LOVE singing, and what soprano doesn't get a kick out of those beautiful melismas? Seriously. I had spoken to this guy named Ray a few times during the semester, and knew that he had one fantastic voice. I decided to ask if he'd like to come along with me.

And BOY, am I glad that he did! Not only did we have a fabulous time trying to get to the singalong (try walking on ice in vicious heels without murdering the kindly gentleman by either spearing him with said deadly heels or bashing his head against the hard sidewalk- it's hard), we also had a great time singing (and Ray shouted AMEN in the ONE silent moment of the entire evening, and I spent the rest of the night trying not to laugh too obnoxiously- and you know how much funnier everything is when you're trying not to laugh!). But the evening came to an end, and Ray walked me home. Where he met my sister. He joined us in singing some Christmas carols. Megan's voice seems to have done the trick in getting Ray to notice her.

Next thing I know, the two are officially dating. A half a year later, I'd transferred to BYU in Provo, and the two are madly in love. And then, next thing I knew, Megan was putting in her papers to serve as a missionary. Ray was very supportive of her doing what she felt the Lord wanted her to do. So Megan left to serve the Lord in Santiago, Chile. Right before she left, she commanded me to not marry until her return so she can be at my wedding. Next thing I knew, I was engaged and getting married. Whoops. Sorry, Meggum!

But then Megan came home, and had no idea what to do with the English language or the opposite gender. Raymond was patient, the good man that he is, and by the time that Megan was getting better at recognizing the difference between Spanish and English, the two were getting it together! Next thing I knew, I was planning a wedding.

So, after a good few years, lots of waiting, being in different schools, different states, and even on different continents, Megan and Ray have found their way to the altar at least. They have been married for one week today! I love you, Megan and Ray!

NOTE: I didn't post anything in the past while because of my many adventures in preparing for the wedding. Those posts will be upcoming. This one was just about Megan and her beloved.

Megan the Ninja Fool

You may recall my beloved sister Megan from her introductory post about how she and I made some grand fools of ourselves in rather majestic fashion. (Incidentally, that post has become one of my top ten viewed in the few weeks that it's been there. Apparently sisters making fools of themselves is really appealing to people nowadays.) Well, good old Megan gave me a call this week, a call that just brought a smile to my face like gold brings a grin to Prince John's ugly mug.

NOTE: I don't have an ugly mug. I have a very pretty mug. Lots of them, actually. You should see the beautiful mug that my friend Michele gave me. She saw this post about how I destroyed my favorite flower mug and she got me a lovely new one. If my flowers had married her beautiful whimsy, this mug would have been the product of that relationship. It's perfect!

Anywho, I'm not talking about Megan and mugs. I'm talking about Megan and April Fools' Day. And already, we know this will be a beautiful and heartwarming tale. We continue.

Megan is in her last semester of college. She lives in a small house with a few other girls, which means much sharing of bathrooms. On April 1, Megan discovered that she needed relief from her oppressive bladder, and accordingly journeyed on to the bathroom. After she got in, however, her senses kicked into ultra mode. She knew what day it was. She knew that she must keep her wits about her. The bathroom becomes one of the most dangerous battlefields on April 1, often being the location of some of the cruelest barbarities known to jokesters and pranksters. Megan wasn't going to let anyone take her by surprise.

While Megan was preparing to go about her business, she noticed a shape lurking behind the shower curtain. There was definitely a roommate back there, lying in wait for the opportune moment to come along! Now, Megan is no booby head. She doesn't let people push her around!

 That's right. Megan went into MegaNinja Mode. None of this pansy stuff for her. Who needs a man to save you when you can totally attack a shower curtain all by yourself? Because that's what she did. Attacked a shower curtain.

Megan's senses are so finely honed that she was able to detect a life form from a different part of the house. Because she could feel the life vibes so strongly, she mistakenly labeled the person as being located in the shower not three feet from her own person. This is no slight against Megan's intelligence. Indeed, this is an homage to her very keen senses. Her powers are so great that she sometimes has a difficult time controlling them.

Let this be a lesson to you all: Megan is no woman to be trifled with. Approach with caution. Cuidado! (That's about as close as I can get to Spanish. I don't speak Spanish. Megan does, since she lived in Santiago, Chile for 18 months as a missionary.) Attention! (French.) WHOA, GURL! WATCHIT! (Weird Slang Stuff.) Well, SHEEYOOOT!!!! (Cowboy.) Mostly, just be wary when trying to prank a blonde MegaNinja. Even if you escape harm, please, consider your shower curtains. A ninja is a dangerous foe to have. A ninja fool is an even more formidable opponent.

Megan and Tashya- Sisters in Embarrassment

Let me tell you how my prayer embarrassed Megan.

Megan is my older sister. I'm taller than her by maybe about 1/4th of an inch. Regardless, she is my big sister, and I'm rather fond of her. She is blonde, blue-eyed, and beautiful. Megan is a Vocal Education major in her last semester, and she has a lovely voice. Her calling in church is the Stake Music Person. She was also the answer to my prayer on Saturday.

Megan was asked a while ago to prepare a musical number for a Relief Society activity to be held Saturday morning. Megan, being very busy, forgot about until Friday afternoon. She called everyone she could think of to sing the song, but no one was available. Discovering that her own voice was the only option, Megan found a girl to play piano for her.

Megan has a knack for picking up music, sort of looking at it, and then being able to play it on the piano, improv a better accompaniment, and sing along with it all without a hitch. (Jealous? I am.) She wasn't too worried.

But then the next morning when it was time for the two to perform during the activity...

That's right. Whoever had gone into the room to set up for the activity had forgotten one eensy-weensy teeny-weeny ever so crucial detail- the particular song the organizers had REQUESTED required a PIANO. And there wasn't one in the room. So Megan and Lolita (whatever her real name is) had to run around and try to find a piano real quick.

(NOTE: Ignore my awful grammar in that picture. I promise that not all of my English education is wasted all the time. Just some of the time. Like when I'm drawing pictorials and I can't edit it afterwards without expending a great amount of effort. If you know how to fix things like that, let me know. We'll be friends.)

So when they finally got the piano in there, they composed themselves, and prepared to perform the special musical number. They began the song, but it turns out the microphone was on the fritz and that most people couldn't hear Megan singing (which generally isn't a problem even without a microphone). They asked Megan and Lolita to start AGAIN.

And so Megan starts the song again, practically eating the microphone. But she notices something. Her music is out of order. All of the running around dragging in pianos had somehow discombobulated her sheet music. And she didn't even know the song. Not even the chorus. Megan just started making things up and singing whatever part was in front of her. Poor Lolita just tried to follow her around on the meandering journey through Wonderland.

Poor Lolita. Maybe she would've been able to follow better if everyone would stop calling her Lolita to get her attention. How is she supposed to know where to go if no one will say her name?

After this whole fiasco, Megan gave me a call to share the woeful and hilarious tale of unfortunate incidents with me. I laughed. A lot. Megan asked, "WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME?!" I was about to respond with a "Because you're Megan and you're special enough" kind of speech, but I stopped to think about it. And then I realized something. 

It was my fault. I've been having a hard time with some things lately, and I wanted a good laugh. So I prayed that I would find happy things, and funny things, and things to laugh over with people that I love. And then I get a call from Megan, one of the people I love most, detailing quite the musical fiasco, and we laughed together.

Well, there you go. Now you know that prayers really are answered. And the next time that something awfully ridiculous is happening to you, think about who might be praying for a reason to smile, and go and find them. Share your experience. Laugh. And then tell them to pray for something else.

Let me tell you how I embarrassed myself.

Yesterday at church, I saw a lady I've talked to a few times. Her name is Susan. She's a very nice lady. She has a son (she has several sons, in fact) who recently had a bad accident. Something about his ankle, and ligaments and/or tendons (are those separate things?) being torn. They knew that there was a pretty good chance of his needing orthopedic surgery, and that didn't make things any better. He also has a hard time getting around. That doesn't make situations pleasant for the patient or for the people trying to be patient with the patient. (This is not to say that he isn't an excellent patient- you'd have to ask his mother.) Cookies are always appreciated, no? I offered cookies, and cookies were accepted. That meant that I needed to go home and make some.

However, I hadn't planned on feeding the missionaries at 5:00. We found out at about 3:00ish, and church got out at 4:00. We got out to the car pretty quickly so we could could get some food started in the kitchen. I was rather frazzled by the whole affair, so I was glad to be able to bake afterwards. I whipped up some good old chocolate chip cookies. Such a pleasant little morsel of happiness. Cookie purity. I was feeling relaxed...

Until I realized that I didn't have any plates I could use to bring the cookies over to The Patient. Just a bunch of cheap plastic wrap that doesn't work. It doesn't stick together until you don't want it to. It puckers and gapes and lets goodness slip out of its confines. Except when it has me in its clutches. 

Not wanting to lose cookies or endanger myself, I decided that using a brown lunch bag would work. After much confusion as to the proper method for stacking cookies in a brown lunch bag, we managed to get things packaged. I included a quote (that I made up on the spot) on the front of the bag:

Hey, if they don't fix your body, at least they can bring a grand old smile to your face and bring back happiness and cheer and memories of happy times in childhood years of yore. 

We took the Bag of Happiness over to the correct house, and walked up to the door. We knocked, and listened to a giant dog make loud barking noises until the door was opened by The Patient's father. 

That's right. I mumbled. I made a strange face. I started to become very uncertain about being at the right house, especially when he asked again,

Andrew jumped in and covered up my muttering. It was then that I realized that I had arbitrarily assigned The Patient the name of Brett. I have no real idea where that name came from. I'm sure that there is a very nice man named Brett that I met recently who is walking around, blissfully unaware of the grief and embarrassment he caused me Sunday evening. 

Seeing the comment about the healing properties of cookies caused a realization for one, amusement for another, and chagrin for the third.

Yes. Garrett. But in my heart of hearts, The Patient will always be fondly referred to as Brett. I hope that he enjoyed those cookies. I hope that he enjoyed the fact that someone who didn't even know his real name would make him cookies and package them in a brown bag bearing a fictitious proverb JUST to make him feel a little bit better. 

And I really hope that this doesn't mean that Megan has been praying for a laugh. Because I don't know how much more of this I can take.

YES! WE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! And a Story or Two About Tennessee As Well

Hello, dear folk! How are you all? I know that it's been forever and a day since I last put ANYTHING up here, but I do have some reasons. None of them are extremely valid, but I'll say that they count anyway. The first and foremost of the group involves the fact that a little devil in the form of an overactive computer program snuck into my laptop and made it so that nothing would run. At all. But guess what? My favorite engineer fixed everything! He's so good at that!

As I put it, "He fixes what I break and eats what I bake!"

Pretty accurate statement.

Fun Fact: Before I ever really met Andrew, he came over to my apartment to pick up my roommate for the ward Halloween activity. Our water heater had broken, but I really needed to shower. I took the most freezing shower of my life, and pretty much almost died. My roommates mentioned the freezing water to Andrew, who said, "Let me see something." Then he did something, and our water heater was fixed. There was warm water once again! SALVATION from the COLD! I'm pretty sure that I fell in love with him right then. No romance sparked, however, since I didn't know who he was until a good while later. I was in my room for all of this. My mysterious hero!

Speaking of fixing stuff, I have a few stories about Andrew. Did you know that my handsome husband is also quite the mechanical miracle worker? True story. I shall confer evidences upon you at this point.

Way back in June, Andrew and I went out to visit my family in Tennessee. I never lived there, they moved there after Andy and I got married. And just so you know, Tennessee and Texas are a lot closer than Tennessee and Utah. Much better for visiting. But when we showed up, we found out that quite a few things were experiencing technical difficulties. Several people (related to me) grabbed Andy and expressed an interest in his ability to fix things. Like the lawn mower, and the fan, and the potato gun that we had brought out with us. And the fact that the bathroom door didn't have a lock- a fact that led to more than one embarrassing situation during our stay.

And Andy went to work and fixed that stuff. He couldn't fix everything (like the chainsaw and the internet thing), but that was in part because he didn't have the right parts. I feel very proud of him. He's pretty darn awesome.

In fact, I think that the only thing that rivaled Andy's awesomeness that week was Bug's ability to give directions.

During the week we were visiting, Andy and I went to get our hair done. We took Bug and Baby with us (Reminder: Bug is 18 (during the story she was 17) and Baby is 9, and they are two of my five sisters). We were going to to meet up with Mama and Daddy afterwards to go food shopping and then go home together. Mama and Daddy were out doing other errands while we were getting hair cuts. Food shopping is great because you get to help pick out the tasty edible stuffs to be consumed during the week. And you can usually ask Daddy for an Almond Joy. He's very loving and good like that.

Anyway, since Andy and I had never been to Tennessee before, we didn't know how to get around. Bug said that she knew how to get to the hair place. She was pretty darn certain. We just needed to get to that one big road, and then stay there until we turned right at Ross, which was right past the Waffle House. Sounds easy enough, right?

WRONG.

Under Bug's command, we drove up that one big road, over that bridge-hill type thing, back down again, and started looking for that one street by Ross. We never saw Ross. We looked for a Waffle House, and found out that Waffle House is the Murfreesboro, TN version of Starbucks- there is one on EVERY CORNER. So Bug told us to just keep going... keep going... a little further... keep going... So we did. And then we noticed that there weren't very many stores around any more. In fact....

Yup. Cool directions, right? I told Bug to stop giving directions and called Mama. We got some more solid directions, and turned around. As soon as we turned around, Bug took over again and told us to "Turn left here" like she knew where we were. And then as we were driving back the way we came, we saw this sign:

Bug had "kept us going" right on out of the city. She is a pretty darn awesome girl. But that's not the only story with Bug in it. Check back tomorrow for that one.

PS. My awesome friend is so much better at her blog than I am with this one. And she's cute about it, too. Michele, you are an inspiration (if you want to read her blog, you can with this link---> This is a link to Michele's cute blog!).

I'm So Attractive

So I feel like I'm a very attractive young lady. This notion of mine is reinforced by this lovely drawing by Andy's sister Mack. 

I like her. She draws very well. And I think she is a looker as well.

 She's the same age as my sister Karmina. And we all love the two of those dears. Karmina draws amazing pictures. And she is so talented! She even took art lessons for a while.

And that last picture is one of my awesome siblings, Fat Boy. Way cute. It has nothing to do with anything, but it makes me happy all the same.