Pregnancy: What Happened During the Second Trimester (Because We're Already Done With That)

So the last post overlaps with this one, but they seemed separate enough in my mind to make this one its own feature presentation. This is about what I did during my second trimester. There were some ups and downs, and this is a very brief overview of it all.

1. I waged a fierce war against those creatures who came in swarms during the Year of the Ant. The year that we moved into our apartment, it was the Year of the Cricket. I panicked a lot that year, though Andrew just kept repeating "DON'T PANIC" to me, as if that would help. During the last several months of 2013, we had different waves of invasions from about a plethora of ants. Maybe a myriad, I'm not sure. But they were all over in our closet (THEY GOT INTO MY LINEN CHEST!), and the kitchen was almost drowning in ants. Drowning! In a non-liquid substance!

This is a picture of me trying to clean out the pantry. Many of the cabinets are taller than I, which made it difficult to reach the whole depth of the cabinet without momentarily floating midair. More like kicking frantically while trying to keep my footing on the chair that I was standing on. Real safe, real attractive. I took everything out of all the cabinets and wiped them down. We got little ant food poison traps and placed them all over. Andrew had to keep me from going all Rambo on the ants with Raid, since he was concerned about the logistics of a pregnant lady inhaling a whole can of the stuff. He had a good point.

2. I continued seeing my chiropractor, because he helps make things better. Especially since my lower back felt the need to throw itself out of place all the stinking time.

That's not actually a dinosaur trying to form on my back. That's just a representation of my lower back hurting, and what it's like. It makes me feel like an old lady sometimes, because I can't stand up straight or walk elegantly at all. But the chiropractor is wonderful, and he snaps that back in place, and I'm good again for a while.

3. We found out we're having a boy. If you missed that post, well then, here. Read it. At about 18 weeks along, we found out that Baby Heim is a wee lad. Here's a picture celebrating that. Little Boy Blue, fondly called Little Britches due to his love of Andrew's singing "The Bare Necessities of Life," already has his blog color picked out for him. That's him there, on my tummy. He's not in all of the pictures, since you can't really see him in real life yet. We're still waiting for that.

4. We traveled a lot. Basically, from the second half of November to the beginning of 2014, we were busy being little travel bugs. Andrew hadn't used hardly any of his vacation days last year, so we had a sizable chunk come holiday season.

For Thanksgiving, we went out to visit my family in Tennessee for a whole week, and I reveled in being surrounded by the people that I love most in the world. Megan and Ray were able to be there too, so the only people missing were the boys serving missions, and they were where they should have been: out serving the Lord by sharing the gospel. Aunt Debbie was visiting there as well, and it was great to see her again. During our time there, we ate quite a bit of food, I helped make one of the two turkeys (the menfolk barbecued and deep fried parts of the other turkey), I went shopping for maternity clothes with Mama, Bugheera, Aunt Debbie, and Andrew, we all made lots of music together, and Andrew finally got to hear some of Daddy's best stories. Whenever I reference one of Daddy's stories, Andrew looks at me all confused like. That confused look gets even more baffled when I try to tell the story myself. So it was good that Daddy could tell him the stories while we were there. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve sitting around and listening to Daddy tell his stories.

Christmas was a two week extravaganza over with Andrew's family in California. The weather was balmy just about the whole time, but I wore my snowman Christmas sweater vest anyway. Again, there was much food, family, and happiness. We were able to see brother Jacob and Shauna and their new (and adorable) baby girl Alana. We hadn't seen Jacob and Shauna since our wedding before that. There were holiday parties for both sides of the family, many gifts exchanged, some exciting moments with model rocket launches, and glorious memories made. And one awful gingerbread house that didn't really work out. But we're not going to talk about that right now, Jenna. Or about how smoky a thoroughly baked gingerbread can make a room. We'll not talk about that either, Jenna.

But you should ask Andrew what I got him for Christmas, because it puts me on top of the Year's Best Wife list. True story.

4.5.I got harassed. This is a half point, since I don't know where to put it. It started during vacations, and now I've become very paranoid. I don't know why people think that it's alright to touch a pregnant lady's belly without her consent, but some people think it is. Maybe it is for some women. I am NOT one of those women. During our vacations, some people felt it necessary to come over and touch my belly as confidently as if it were their own. I was not amused. I forgave them, since they were family, but I also started retreating further into my clothes, the couch, Andrew's shadow, or anything else that might afford me some protection and/or diplomatic immunity. It basically got to the point where I was prepared to stockpile a supply of necessary defense mechanisms and go into the Tashya-Rambo mode I managed to avoid in the Ant Situation (see #1).

There is a saying: "It takes a village to raise a child." Whether or not that saying is true, it does NOT take a village to make a child. Whether or not that saying is true, it does NOT make a child in utero the public property of all persons passing by. If you feel the need to rub something round, and your stomach isn't large enough to fit the bill, blow up a balloon or something. Leave the woman alone unless she gives you the indication that she'd welcome otherwise. You don't touch my tummy when I'm thin and normal, you don't touch my tummy when it's fat with child. We'll just be happy in mutual non-tummy touching. Rant over.

5. I got maternity clothes, and rejoiced in the stretchy pants.

6. I still opted for Andrew's clothes a majority of my lounge time (and still do). His wardrobe options became smaller as certain of his items were annexed for my own personal use. But some of the items, like his sweater, were better after he'd worn them once so that they would smell like him. He couldn't seem to find them where he'd left them, though.

7. I started cleaning things up and trying to make room for baby. I went through closets, cabinets, and corners. I was cheerful like a princess. After I failed at the Snow White song since I am completely and totally incapable of whistling, I decided to move on to Cinderella. I always fancied the idea of singing in harmony with myself via the power of bubbles. And yes. I do have a pink broom.

8. I kept cleaning and organizing and rearranging. I had to move furniture around to make things fit better. Don't let anyone tell you that I lost the muscle I gained moving dry wall for Daddy all those years ago. I can still pick up and move a good bit of weight. But I had a hard time when I realized that we would have to get rid of one of our couches to make room for a rocking chair. But it was the first piece of furniture we got as a married couple! I was very attached to it, much to Andrew's bemusement. I didn't let it go very easily. I really clung onto it.

9. I broke down and cried because of all the cleaning and organizing. I went through boxes that hadn't been organized since we'd been married. That got to be overwhelming. Piles grew everywhere. Everywhere. No room was clean for two days in a row, because space cleared was then used to clean another space out. That had the tendency to make me frustrated, tired, and ready to be done. This didn't help with the next item, either.

10. I dealt with severe emotional instability that baffled and irritated me more than even Andrew. And that was not a happy thing. As a girl who's never had much issue with mood swings, this got rather old quickly. I annoyed myself with my hormones. But you know. I guess that's just part of pregnancy. Being irrational about being irrational hardly makes anything better. I started focusing on how I could improve my attitude about what I couldn't always control, and learn not to get mad at myself for bizarre reasons. And with those efforts, I became much happier.

And that's a bit of a synopsis of what happened during the second trimester.

Personal Progress: How to Apply it to Your Life

My calling in church is the Young Women's Personal Progress Coordinator Person Of Awesomeness And Inspiration. "Person" is a word of my own adding. It slipped out once, and it's just kind of stuck there in my title. Oh well. It sounds cool enough. The parts of the moniker following that were added by my husband as he edited this post. One of my responsibilities is encouraging participation in the Personal Progress program. I recently had the chance to do that during New Beginnings, the start of the year activity to introduce the program to new girls, and reinvigorate the girls already in the program. Our theme was "Diamonds in the Rough: Come Unto Christ and Be Perfected in Him." It was very beautiful.

I spoke a little at this activity, and during that little talk I gave some ideas on how to use Personal Progress to address concerns and problems the YW face in their lives. A friend requested that those usage ideas be typed up for her because they seemed rather useful, and then I got a request for the whole thing. I present this unto you for perhaps some ideas and inspiration.

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What is the Purpose of Personal Progress?

Other than its names obvious implication- that we personally progress- what is the purpose? Towards what are we progressing? It is not just about becoming a better person- that is the happy side effect of the main goal. The main purpose of Personal Progress is to bring us to the temple. Think about the Personal Progress book, the medallion you receive upon completion of the program, the For Strength of Youth book, all of these have depictions of the temple on them. Why the temple? Because within the walls of the temple we make covenants that bring us even closer to Christ.

The theme for the youth this year is "Come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him." Can I tell you what that means to me? It means that we choose by our actions to come to Christ. We don't wait around to be miraculously transformed in a blaze of glorified lightning. It means that as we develop our faith in Christ, learn of our own divine nature and individual worth, increase our knowledge, exercise our choice and accountability, strive to do good to all, and proudly stand as a witness of integrity and virtue, as we do all of these things, we come unto our Savior Jesus Christ, and we are changed.

How? I'm going to tell you something else, and it is very important. The atonement of Jesus Christ is not just for sinners. It is also for perfecting. In Isaiah 61, it says that the Lord will give beauty for ashes. We are not perfect. We have failed attempts, but as long as we don't fail to attempt, the Savior makes up the difference when we apply the atonement in our lives. As we ask for grace, which is divine help and enabling power, to become better and achieve our goals, as we repent of our shortcomings and faults each day, as we press forward with a perfect brightness of hope, then the ashes of our failed attempts become molded, pressed, heated, and finished by the Master. Instead of being covered in ashes, we are rather encrusted in diamonds. Diamonds which reflect the light of the Savior. Diamonds are most beautiful when they reflect out the lights which come into them, illuminating them from the inside and then beautifying their surroundings with sparkles.

What are some of the ashes that we may have? I brainstormed, and jotted down a few that came to mind. I then thought about the Personal Progress program, and how that could be used to help with these ashes.

*Have you done something wrong? Do you worry that your sins and mistakes are too much to be forgiven, or do you feel like giving up since you've already messed up? I would say go do Faith #5, which is about learning about the atonement, and then applying it in your life.
*Do you ever feel insignificant, or downcast? Do you feel like you don't matter? Go and do Individual Worth #3, and learn to focus on lifting others, and in loving others, experience God's profound love for you.
*Do you find yourself wondering whether you have a testimony, or doubting or questioning a particular gospel principle? Then go and try Faith #1, proscribing praying habits, or the Virtue Value Project, which is to read the Book of Mormon, and then to take Moroni's challenge yourself and ask if these things are not true.
*Do you find yourself overwhelmed by the challenges you're facing? Does being a teenaged girl and its attendant evils of drama, boys, unkind people, and school and other responsibilities threaten to bring you down on yourself, your situation, or your abilities? I would suggest Divine Nature #2, and learn about who you really are as a daughter of God, and what that means, so that you can gain perspective on life and your current situation.
*Do you notice a lack of the Spirit in your life sometimes? Can you tell that sometimes the Spirit is there, but sometimes he isn't? Knowledge #3 would be a good experience to do, in which we learn to judge media consumption by Article of Faith 13, and seeking after things that are "virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy."
*It can take a lot of work to live and keep the standards of the gospel. Do you ever wonder if all that effort is worth it? Do you wonder if being so different from everyone else is really a good idea and what you want? I say go and do Choice & Accountability #6, and study the YW theme and what it means to stand as a witness.

These value experiences from Personal Progress help us to become perfected as we use the atonement to rise above the challenges, draw closer to Christ, and be perfected in Christ.

I'm most definitely not perfect. I've made mistakes and blunders, and I have felt like I was surrounded by and covered in ashes. I know what it is to feel inadequate, to feel like you are constantly found lacking. I know what it is to feel completely judged and out of place around your peers. My husband says I'm gorgeous now, but I assure you that there was a time in my youth that I was not the most sightly creature in the room. A most unfortunate spell. I know what it is to be hurt by people that should be watching out for you and supporting you. But I also was blessed with a wonderful family firmly rooted in the gospel, and the chance to participate in Personal Progress. I know that my efforts are not in vain. I know this because I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior, and I know that He loves me. I know that participating in Personal Progress will bring you to Christ and to the temple. I know that it will bring you great happiness as your ashes of low self-esteem, failed attempts, mistakes, and sorrows are transformed into brilliant diamonds that reflect the love and light of Christ.

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Be assured that there is a greater variety of problems and answers out there. These were the ones that jumped into my mind while brainstorming. If you don't have a great familiarity with your Personal Progress book, or want to help encourage someone within the program to find an answer or solution to their questions, I would suggest that you use the index in the back of the book. You could also ask your Personal Progress Person, which could be your friendly neighborhood ME. Or you could just peruse the book yourself.

Pregnancy: What I Did the First Few Months (An Answer for My Beehives)

A few weeks ago, I was in charge of the Beehive activity on a Wednesday night. We were having a lesson on budgeting and then decorating and gluing and flowering and taping and bejeweling little budget folders. All sorts of fun, right? And then one of the girls commented on my being gone from church for so long. As in, several months long. I told them that I had been ill during the beginning of my pregnancy. And then one of them asked, "So what were you doing for all those months? Just lying around all the time?"

And I stopped to think about it. I raised my eyebrow. I smiled. I considered the happy state of the those women who do not fall desperately ill during their pregnancies, and may even be able to carry on with normal lives and activities. In answer to that young woman's question of what I did for the first few months of pregnancy, here. I made this myself. A documentation of what it's like to make another person within your own person.

First of all, I didn't eat much.

Why? Because I couldn't. I had no choice in the matter. "Morning" sickness is the biggest misnomer in the book. It's actually breathing sickness, because you're sick every time you breathe, not just in the morning.

Andrew did his best to help me to eat healthily. He offered me some of my favorites.

Nope. No vegetables of any kind.

Definitely not. The very thought of chicken or turkey was enough to trigger my gag reflexes. And that went for just about any kind of meat. Just seeing raw meat had the potential to slaughter me. So no meat protein.

I love fruit. I always have. But I couldn't. Nope. No. Don't. No fruits. Andrew was pretty worried about the fact that I wasn't getting good healthy food in my diet. His parents and common sense were encouraging him to help me to eat like a healthy minded person. It wasn't working out for him.

As if the smells of warming pans (and therefore any cooking) didn't make me ill enough, the smell of cooking eggs could have me running for the toilet or any other receptacle. So none of that protein either.

Ever since I was little, I've loved pickles. I eat whole pickles straight from the jar. I eat whole jars. But not now. I couldn't even manage a healthy cereal like Raisin Bran. It's not like I don't like eating healthy food. I like eating. I could never be anorexic because I like food too much.

Andrew was desperate by this point. I mean, I was practically perishing for want of food.

Well, I had an idea at that point. It turns out that my stomach could handle tomato soup (which I downed by the can), and Marshmallow Mateys. This had the tendency to distress Andrew, seeing as neither of these are full of the variety of nutrients required by a normal person, let alone a pregnant woman. It didn't help that I couldn't even take my prenatal vitamins because they made me even sicker. Sicker than a dog. Sicker than a dog who sneaks into my room and eats all of my miniature peanut butter cups AND the goodies in the package from my aunt (which is an entirely different story, one that very much still has the power to rankle my goat's beard and cause me to wobble my fist violently towards all evil dogs).

Andrew broke down eventually because he realized that I needed to eat. Some husbands have to encourage their wives to eat veggies because they don't like them. Any time Andrew came at me with veggies, it turned, churned, burned, and genuinely destroyed my stomach and any chance of happiness for the day. It's not his fault. He's wonderful. So no one blame him for not helping me to get all of the nutrition that a pregnant lady needs, or they'll be answering to ME!

May I just add a thought here? I will, because this is my blog, and I can say and add what I please. Whoever writes those books and such about pregnant women eating all that healthy produce, low-fat dairy, and good protein MUST be: A) entirely too optimistic, B) a man, C) a woman who's never had a child or a lousy pregnancy, or D) just plain nuts. ESPECIALLY the ones who tell you to ignore your cravings if they're unhealthy.

Moving on. So eating is what I didn't do. What did I do? This.

I am really happy for those people who have good pregnancies, and who enjoy being pregnant. I know that they exist. I've heard of them, and I'm even friends with one of them. But I'm even more grateful for my mother, who was so disgustingly ill with her first pregnancy she couldn't eat hardly anything, and then went on to have another nine children after that. My mother is a true hero. She is wonderful. I call her a lot when I don't think that I can handle this any more. It's not fun being sick and being far away from your family.

And there are really nice people in the ward. My visiting teachers not only kept my secret (we didn't tell anyone outside the family for several months), but they also brought over dinner twice a week so Andrew didn't starve. Wasn't that so wonderfully nice of them? Shannon and Joy are the two best visiting teachers in the world. I don't think we would have survived without them.

When I was about 18 or 19 weeks along, I stopped being deathly ill all the time. That was good. Functioning is good. Being able to walk about/eat/bathe/act like a human and not a zombie is good. And at that point, Andrew and I started travelling for the holidays, so no one saw us for another few weeks. I think at one point people probably thought we'd moved out of the ward or something. But we didn't.

And now we're back. I'm 29 weeks along as of yesterday, and I've moved on to an entirely different set of pregnancy joys. Sore legs, for example. But that's an entirely different story, and one that isn't as entertaining as what I did during my second trimester.

But you'll get that next Pictorial.

Blue or Pink?

Read this post from last time first. Here is the link: The Girl and the Awful Morning. Go read that, and then come read this. Ready, go!

NOTE: Really. Go read it now. Before reading this.

NOTE: Read it? Good. Carry on.

The girl sat in the waiting room. She was not embarrassed. She was not uncomfortable. She was excited. She was anxious. She had woken up early, and kept herself from getting distracted by anything, not even the wonderfully warm shower water. She managed to shave in a reasonable amount of time. It was amazing how much quicker that whole shaving business was if you bothered doing it more than once a week. When she stepped out of the shower, she had plenty of time to do her makeup, hair, get into her pre-selected outfit, and eat a nice breakfast. She was feeling rather pretty.

In the car, she wasn't stressed about turning left, even if there were lots of people on the road during morning traffic. Not only did she know where she was going this time, she wasn't driving. She was comfortably seated in the passenger seat, sending happy little smiles over to her handsome husband driver. He looked back at her, and laughed. She laughed, too. They must have had the same thought.

"Remember four weeks ago today when you were running late, and had no idea where you were going?" he asked.

She gave him a disdainful look of her best snobbery. Apparently they were not having the same thought. "I have decided to put that portion of my past firmly into my past, and not think about it."

He laughed again. As he accelerated after a red light turned green, he shot her a quick smile that let her know that he actually was thinking the same thing as she. And he was just as excited.

"Should we let our families know that we're on the way?" she asked.

"And ask their guesses?" he offered as a fun idea.

"Agreed!" she declared while whipping out her phone. She dialed the number for her parent's house, and was startled when her mother's voice answered. "Mama! You answered the phone!"

"Was I supposed to let it ring?"

"No. I was just... Well, I guess that I don't desperately need to get hold of you right this moment, so it is in keeping with traditional mom form to pick up the phone. Well, I'm just glad you answered. We're on our way!"

Her mother gasped. "Oh, so early? Yay! How exciting!"

"Yes, and we are now accepting guesses and bets," she said with a laugh.

She heard a multitude of muffled noises as Mama asked Daddy and the various kids around them for their input. "Well, it looks like Karsten is the only one who thinks pink, and he only picked that because he wants you to be happy," said Mama. "Daddy says you're doomed to no pink, since you want it so much."

"Stop cursing me!"

Mama laughed and said, "Call us and let us know!"

"Will do, Mama. Stay by the phone!"

As she hung up, she looked at her husband. "I've been cursed. And Daddy knows everything, so he must be right."

Her husband laughed again. He was happy this morning. It was a good morning. They were getting close, and both were anxiously excited.

"I was really certain that it was going to be blue, and then I had a dream that they did this all without me there, and I was really mad at them for not waiting for me. I mean, how rude! And then I didn't want them to tell me yet, but they did anyway, and it was pink. But I'm not sure how accurate this whole thing is without me present," she said in a thoughtful voice. Maybe more distracted than thoughtful. They could see the building now.

They jumped out of the car and quick marched to the building, holding hands like excited little kids going to the fair. She dragged him into the elevator. There was no one else in there. She confidently pressed the button for the third floor herself. When the doors dinged shut, he grabbed her close for a kiss. She giggled.

The elevator opened up, and they walked up to the check-in counter together. There was only one person in line in front of them, and it was soon their turn.

"I'd like to check-in," she said, and gave her name, doctor, and proof of insurance. There was scrolling, clicking, and a quick brush of the hair along her neck by her husband. The nurse stood up and went to the printer.

"You don't need to fill this out, just hold onto it for checkout," the nurse said while handing over a blue sheet of paper on a clipboard. "Go ahead a take a seat. They'll call your name when they're ready for you."

It was a much better morning than four weeks ago, she thought. She sat in the waiting room. She was not embarrassed, she was not uncomfortable. She was with her husband, and she hadn't done anything silly or wrong. She was excited. He was excited.

"Natashya?"

They both jumped up and ran over the lady in the doorway, who laughed. "You have an empty bladder, right?"

"Uh, no. They said they'd need a "sample" before the appointment," she said. Now she was uncomfortable.

The new nurse who had called her name said, "Well, you can just stroll back through the doors like you own the place and leave your sample back there, and come back up here."

Then her husband and her purse followed the nurse back into a different room, and she was left out there alone, to walk back across the whole waiting room while people stared at her, and stroll through the doors that said "Personnel Only" in big letters, all so she could tinkle in a cup. Sheesh. She started walking. She was embarrassed. She was uncomfortable. The same people who had watched her make a mad dash for one door now watched her walk slowly to the other door.

Once the ignominious task was completed, she scurried back to the appointment room to be reunited with her husband and her purse. She was excited again.

An hour or two later, everything was done. They'd met with all the different people, and they had what they really wanted with them in their hands. Who knew that black and white photos could be so misleading? Because obviously, this little picture was actually only one color.

They called their families, and made ready their announcement: