Previously Living Sea Creature Under the Stairs: A Story

Sometimes life just gets really interesting. And by interesting, I mean really confusing. And by confusing, I mean sitting around extremely baffled, pondering over the points of the bogus case presented unto you by an invisible hand of mischief. Allow me to tell you a tale of mystery, wonder, and ... a surprise.

 Here's a little set up for you. Andrew and I live in an apartment complex that comes in gray and white, with pretty stones, and a lot of stair cases. We live on the second floor, nestled between an outside corridor, upstairs neighbors, back neighbors, side neighbors, diagonal neighbors, and an downstairs neighbor.

You will notice that Andy and I are adorable together looking out of our living room window. What you will probably not notice from the picture is that our apartment is actually rather pretty, and has structural integrity. I will point out that between each flight of stairs, there is a little balcony/switch point thingy so you can turn and go up the other side. Beneath the first stairs, there is a strange, triangle shaped block of air that is sometimes inhabited by odd compilations of questionable items.

Fortunately, the cool ball and the door helped to even out the scene of the decayed boot and Oscar's trash can, so it wasn't all that alarming all the time.

Now that we have that out of the way, here's the situation:

I had very little sleep over a several day time period. I wasn't looking too hot, since I had also been neglecting the laundry and personal grooming beyond basic showering needs.

 However, in my fantasy world, I was a beautiful princess. I had a beautiful ballgown, sparkling and radiant eyes, my hair was curled and flowing, a charming smile to win the heart of a charging water buffalo, and I was going to go and take a royal nap.

 It helped that Andy said that I could have a bowl of cereal, my all time favorite snack/meal, when we got home. So I continued on in my fantasy world, and traipsed home, trailed by a worried Randy.

As I was charging home like a gallivanting galvanized buffalo, I wasn't exactly paying attention to my surroundings. However, as I got to our stairs, and I saw the odd compilation of questionable items, I happened to notice a peculiar smell. And I thought I saw something... but I wasn't sure. Take a look at these two pictures and see if you can tell a difference.

I actually didn't notice this at first. But after Andy's "HEY! Is that a fish head?" my entire cosmos ceased its former movement, and started to rotate in a more zigzagonal shape than its previous Platonic spherical course. 

Someone unknown benefactor had removed the cool ball and had replaced it with a dead fish head. A DEAD FISH HEAD!

 And it had these eyes that were still round and looked at you! NO MATTER WHERE YOU WERE, THE EYE FOLLOWED YOU! It was like the fish was blaming ME for its untimely demise!!!! I tried to escape its gaze, but it made no difference where I put my small pink pictographical representation of myself (see pictures below). The Dead Fish Head just kept staring at me. And I started to feel like it was getting closer and closer, closing in on me like a sneaky 16 year old brother about to steal his toddler sibling's candy, only a lot more malicious than that.

I had no idea why there was a dead fish head under our stairs. I knew that it was a questionable item, and it could logically fit into an odd compilation... but WHY was there a DEAD FISH HEAD? The more I thought about it, the more and more disturbed I became. And guess what? The Dead Fish Head stayed there for almost a week. Day after day after day after day after day after day after day we saw this Dead Fish Head just chillaxin' under the stairs. And I had no idea why.

And then one day....

 it was just gone. *POOF* Vanished. No more Dead Fish Head. I don't know where it came from- I don't know where it went- and it's STILL a mystery. On the bright side, it is a lot more pleasant smelling when the Dead Fish Head does not inhabit a space that is close to your abode.

I'm So Attractive

So I feel like I'm a very attractive young lady. This notion of mine is reinforced by this lovely drawing by Andy's sister Mack. 

I like her. She draws very well. And I think she is a looker as well.

 She's the same age as my sister Karmina. And we all love the two of those dears. Karmina draws amazing pictures. And she is so talented! She even took art lessons for a while.

And that last picture is one of my awesome siblings, Fat Boy. Way cute. It has nothing to do with anything, but it makes me happy all the same.

My Excuse for Not Writing Since... A While...

Dear Family and Friends,

I CAN EXPLAIN! DON'T GET MAD AT ME!

That being said, I shall move on with m'excusing and all that jazz.

You see, dear ones, The Man and I are taking many a class this semester, and sometimes the weight of the world really comes down hard on us.

And can I just tell you that the world really is quite heavy? Those Americans need to cut back on the French Fries, I'm telling you that! (PS! FREE FRIES TOMORROW AT BURGER KING! You'd better believe Andy and I will be first in line!)

It wasn't that I didn't want to write to you. I did. Really, I did. But every time I was going to, something along the following lines happened:

I'm a happy person. I can blog, talk to family, manage homework, and spend time with Andrew. 

And then....

LIFE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to adjust to the increased workload by looking ahead and scheduling-use that planner!

But I didn't know that life had MORE pranks!

I decided that I would try to hide from some of the evil homework/random things demanding my time. It was actually working for a little while.

But that didn't last long.

But now I am here. I am DONE WITH FINALS for the semester, and I couldn't be happier about it! HUZZAH HURRAH AND... BA...RAHhhh....? (I need another celebratory word starting with "H"...)I will have to time to blog about adventures and episodes of bizarreness of which this chronicle is an long tome (or should be, anyway).

So you now have my excuses and my apologies and my promise to be better and my bribery to be patient so you can have more knowledge of the Golden Times of Tashy and Randy.

*PS. I suppose that this whole excuse should work on account of Andrew as well, since he was more or less in the same rocky boat careening down the melancholic and very active stream of death.*

Trying To Be Nice, Ending Up The Weirdo Head of Newlyweds

So, you know when you say something completely benign and innocent, and everyone around you thinks that you mean something else? And then you stand there stupidly because you see no escape? That's so awful! And then you spend the rest of the evening thinking about what those other people think of you now that you've said that formerly innocent and benign statement?

Ya. The world of Tashya just got less than awesome.

I was at a fireside tonight for the Relief Society. I was so pumped at the end of it! It was awesome! I was going to be the best person ever! I was going to be the AWESOME-EVERYONE'S-FRIEND-AND-COOL-COMRADE person! So, acting in accordance with these new found urges and idiotic resolution, I went against my normal self. Silly me.

We talked a whole lot.

And that was happening all fine and dandy like. Look at me, being all social! I was talking, making conversation, gushing about our weddings, etc, blah, blah, blah, and all that jazz. And then... I started thinking. Never a good idea.

I KNOW , right?

Anyway, on to me starting to think, without Beauty and the Beast butting in.

This is the moment where I think that, "Hey, Tashya, why don't you just not say anything you don't agree with? How about you just shoosh it up? How about you just keep talking about cookies?"

THEN comes the moment where I ignore my own rarely appearing good sense, and I say something that doesn't even really apply to my current situation.

So why did I say that? I don't know. Every time I felt like I needed to talk to someone, I just talked to Andy. And it was great. He's my best friend! If I wanted to talk to a girl, I just called up Mama, because she's my other best friend! I mean, why did I just make myself sound like an emotionally unstable young lady?

Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who came up with an interesting translation of my thoughtless, yet well meaning, utterance.

This is what they said in response. (All things that I would normally be the one saying.)

This is what they were thinking.

They were talking about how all they wanted to do was to spend time with their wonderful husbands, and how great their husbands were, and how nice it was to spend time with them, and that maybe'd they'd spend time with other people in a year or so. All the while, I was wondering why I had even said that because, guess what? I'm just like the other girls! I hate RS because I can't sit with Andrew! I mean, how pathetic is that! And why would I WANT to spend time with those girls when I could be spending time with my Andrew?! I mean, between schoolwork and schoolwork and schoolwork, Andrew and I don't really have a lot of time to be together. So why would I waste that time on girls?

And then I went home and told Andrew that I did, in fact, love him a lot, and that no matter what nasty and pernicious rumors began circulating, he should know that I'd rather spend time with him than any RS girl. Because I don't smoke weed or drink beer.