Sunday, October 2, 2011

On an Addition Problem

Hello, everyone. I’m the other proprietor of this blog, Andrew.

I may write on it as well, from time to time, to add a few cents of my own or to set the record straight. If I don’t write often, it’s not that I have anything against it, but it’s a combination of several factors. First, I’m not as natural a writer as my darling, wonderful wife, Tashya. Second, she is. Third, she’s really lovely, too. Fourth, I spend my time doing lots of homework. (As I planned this post, I actually envisioned myself making a picture of my teachers and what they were thinking… but Tashya took that idea right out my head and then did a better job with it than I would have done.) Some of my homework assignments are a little like the following:
Semester project: Make an oil well. That is INVINCIBLE:

Make cold Nuclear fusion. On a $25 budget:

Solve this equation: 

Solve world peace:

Needless to say, I’m often busy. You’ll notice a theme – engineers like to make things or fix things. Some people simply assume I FIX THINGS. Like, any problem, upon my looking at it, can be resolved just as easily as saying, “Ah… I see!” Which, although occasionally true, is sadly not the case. Hence the above homework problems still lacking completion.

Enough about me.

So for today’s lecture, I would like to pose a question: What happens when you add a Tashya and a Squeakyhammer?

First, we need to cover what a Tashya is. A Tashya is a pretty lady who is intelligent, kind, thoughtful, lovely, and wonderful. This particular Tashya is better than all of the rest and is also my wife. And she also has a mischiveous streak a mile and a half wide. On a good day.

A Squeakyhammer is an inflatable hammer, standing about four feet tall, that most commonly presents itself in bright, flourescent colors. You have probably seen one like it somewhere. Squeakyhammers are a more specific breed of inflatable hammers, however, in that they squeak when you hit something with them. We have ourselves acquired a pair of such hammers, but how that happened is another story altogether. Suffice it to say that a squeakyhammer or two does present itself on occasion.

Now, the addition in question is also worth discussing. Normally, you would think of it as meaning the giving an item like a squeakyhammer to someone. In this case, however, the Tashya is most sneaky, and addition may present itself in the form of her sneaking the hammer, her sneaking up behind you with the hammer, her waking you up with the hammer in hand, or her luring you over to her when she insists she doesn’t have any malicious intent at all:

Well, what happens, you ask? Well, what do you think? As Einstein said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
She pounces on you and smacks you with the squeakyhammer until silly.  

Until you’re silly.

Or until she’s silly.

(But chances are one of you was silly to begin with).

Anyways, we have our answer for today’s discussion. Please join me next time for another enlightening discussion.

Homework this week: Watch your back when you hear someone tiptoeing up behin.. .AAAAHHHHH…...aaia ;li s[oyhp iausghpugb!!!!!

1 comment: