Dear Favorite Blog Reader,
I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and your ingenious methods of finding that which you seek. I also wanted to tell you that I love your sense of humor and zeal, your fine sense of taste and style, your elegant turn of phrase. I hope that you and I will be friends for a very long time. I hope that you weren't actually looking for something else, that may be misunderstood by other people. I hope that you aren't really such a troubled individual.
I sometimes wonder how many times you must have pushed the "next" button on Google search in order to find this place. You have so much patience! I got bored after only pushing it TWICE! Or maybe it was once... I've already forgotten, and I just barely opened a new tab to check it out for myself, too. And then I closed it once my investigation was over. And I've forgotten. But I know that I am not near the top of the list of results. I'm not in the first few results, and that generally calls for another search keyword combination. But you? No. You persevered. I respect that in a person. Perseverance.
Although I have no idea what you were actually looking for, I am glad that you found this humble blog. I hope that you stayed for more than just a minute before going back to your daily life. I hope that you found more than just a story about lost personal property. I hope that you found entertainment, pizazz, intelligence, genius, sparkle, and finely honed wit. I hope that you found wonderful works of art, and insightful interpretations of said art. I hope that you found something that was worth reading. Because you deserve it.
Yes, I'm talking to you. The reader who found this blog by searching: "her pants fell down."