Wednesday, March 20, 2013

RAMSAR and the Robot Uprising

Question: When you folks comment on my blog, does it ask you to enter in a security code to prove that you're not a robot? Really. I want to know. I'll end that tyranny.

I was reading a friend's blog post about the insensitivity of technology in the modern day, and I was totally in agreement with her. I also think that she did not go quite far enough with her admonition towards this great brute. Not only is technology insensitive, it also has a VERY SHORT MEMORY! Seriously. Short. Shorter than I am. And it doesn't like me, which shows an obvious breech in good character judgement. If you want proof of the enmity between myself and technology, feel free to ask just about anyone who has seen me with anything more sophisticated than Microsoft Paint.

Hear this, good friends! Hear this outrage that was performed against me!

After I read the blog post mentioned and linked to above, I desired to leave a comment for Christine. I scrolled down and put my cursor into the comment box. I typed some words, and strung those words together to make sentences. I read over my comment, decided to clarify my identity so that I wouldn't sound like a random creeper, and concluded that my comment was good. I pushed "COMMENT." Do you know what happened?

I do admit that I feel sad that there is such severe inter-species discrimination- and by other technology, too! Jerks. I mean WALL-E is adorable! How could you ever reject him? However, accepting the need to prove myself to be a distinct and separate entity wholly unconnected to an artificial intelligence, I complied with the request.

I went to another friend's blog, and read her beautiful story of finding Christ and true joy. I wanted to thank her for sharing her journey, her faith, and her testimony so sincerely. I typed up a comment, and pushed "COMMENT." And what happens?

I acquiesced to this request yet again, feeling the sting of cruel insults. Robot indeed! After I had proved once more that I was in fact a living creature, I realized that I had forgotten to add part of my thought to the comment that had just posted. And there is no "Edit" button to push. Argh. So I pushed "Reply" to my own comment to add the rest of my thought. I pushed the "Make These Words Appear" button. And guess what happens.

Argh and ighs! By this time I was just downright peeved. PEEVED! I am not a robot! I'm a girl! A living girl! A living, breathing, technologically handicapped GIRL! I angrily attempted to prove ONCE MORE that I was not a robot, but I failed the first time because I couldn't read the convoluted letters and numbers.

Another word and number combination popped up. RAMSAR 2000! I could read that! Wait. RAMSAR 2000?! That's a ROBOT name! This was all because of a robot hating robot! And I was an innocent victim in the crossfire! I just about lost it. I grabbed my nearest notebook (I believe it was the blue one), and angrily scrawled out:


And then proceeded to bash my notebook against the front of my computer so that he could see. Then I realized that my laptop doesn't have a webcam built in, so RAMSAR wouldn't be able to see my response. I grabbed Andrew's computer and proceeded to bash my statement of identity with full fury onto his webcam while bellowing loudly the same words:

That's when Andrew started laughing. Maybe it was the fact that I was yelling at an inanimate object? No, that's far too common around our place. Maybe it was that I was afraid of the robot uprising which would undoubtedly be led by RAMSAR 2000, and while engineer Andrew has no fear of technology? Nope. That idea didn't even occur to him, strangely enough. Why was he laughing?

Because I had written down my words on a piece of paper to show the computer.

Note from Andrew:  When she wanted to shout at the computer, she yelled at it, waved her hand, and then when she wanted to do something REALLY decisive, she instinctively grabbed her pen and notebook that were by her side and wrote in HUGE letters some insult to RAMSAR... as if it were a deaf person or something....  I sometimes wonder about her.

Apparently that is not how one is supposed to communicate with technology. Do you know what I say to that? I say that I prefer old fashioned good manners to this newfangled modern hoopla. I say that technology should know its place and not try to give me an identity crisis. I say that RAMSAR 2000 needs to learn his place and stop trying to take over the world.

I could tell that RAMSAR 2000 was a robot. I knew that he had an evil plot. He wasn't discriminating against other robots after all! He was really discerning between his followers and minions, and we unsuspecting humans to see if he he could transmit the Super Secret Plan For Total World (Including All Inhabitants) Domination!

Andrew's response while laughing really sums up the whole situation, though, and it's a quote that I'd read to him from Christine's blog:

Technology really is insensitive.


  1. I laughed enough that my roommates demanded what I was reading. Oh thank you for the laugh...and yes, I have to prove I'm not a robot to comment on your blog, and I don't understand how anyone, even humans, can read those ridiculous pictures.

  2. I hate those too! Yours does. It's whether or not blogs will accept anonymous comments. If you don't want to(because sometimes they can cause spam) there is a button on your dashboard to not accept anonymous which makes everyone else fill out those ridiculous "can you read these letters and numbers." Just look on the options for comments and say "accept anonymous comments"

  3. We're glad you've started posting a lot again! By the way, Ramsar is a town in Iran.

    1. Regardless of the fact of a town bearing a similar name, I still hold that RAMSAR is a wicked robot.

      But that is a fun fact to know. I'm glad you told me!