Friday, March 29, 2013

While the Andrew's Away, the Tashya Will...

Early Wednesday morning, Andrew left for a business trip. He went away to good old BYU to teach some class and show demos on highly technical stuff. He got to be in a giant bus that had loads of engineering toys and tools, and show off the possibilities of LabVIEW programming to some 100 odd students. (Meaning around 100 students, not that each of those students was in fact odd. Although, being engineers, there is a strong possibility that more than one of them were odd. You know what they say about dating and the engineering building- The odds are good, but the goods are odd.) I'll have him tell about his fun trip when he gets back home.

So Andrew has been gone for two whole days now. He gets back late tonight. Are you wondering what I did while Andrew was out and about?

I went on the wild side. Insane. Off the deep end.

I ran a red light and sped past a police officer. It was my first time ever breaking any traffic law. Ever. Except for that one time when I was late picking up my baby sister from kindergarten, and I found myself going 40 in a 25 zone. Whoops. But I stopped as soon as I noticed. Fortunately, no one stopped me here either. The intersection was further away than I thought it was, so when I figured that it was unsafe to slam on my brakes, I was actually making a decision for the other cars that it would be unsafe to un-slam their brakes. When I finally got into the parking lot and stopped, I heard a siren go off. I freaked out. Turns out no one was coming for me, though, so I went inside the store.

I went shopping at Kohl's. For three hours. Shopping. Alone. I don't do that. I go with Mama. It's our "together time" when we're visiting. But you should the darling dress I got. You'll never guess what color it is. Go ahead a try. *indistinct mumbling* What's that? Nope. You're wrong. It's pink. And it has a bow.

I cruised right on through a yellow light. No coppers or bobbies this time, though.

I stayed up until midnight, despite the fact that I'm fighting a cold/possibly strep throat. And since I did it again last night, I now have a cold/strep throat/some evil, pernicious, demanding ghoul of a toad living in my throat trying to KILL me.

I watched yet another Cinderella movie.

I called my mother Mum all day. My mother is Mama. Mum? That's when I'm in my British rut. When I read too many modern British things, she's Mum. When it's from the Classics, she's Mamma. And what happens to Daddy? He stays Daddy all the time.

I definitely didn't shave. I did, however, spend a lot of time grooming my eyebrows. I also tried to keep up with other basic, socially required grooming habits, such as cleansing one's teeth and applying deodorant to the underarm area.
I went out and got my hair cut. My bangs are back, baby! I remember now how much I love bangs. I also remember how much I don't like bangs. What the heck was I always doing with these when I had them?

I also experienced a case of separation anxiety once some of my hair was gone. Why, I don't know. I mean, probably no one will be able to tell the difference besides me. I don't do short hair.

I got lost in a suburb trying to get back from my haircut. 22 right turns interspersed with a handful of left turns, does not make the necessary left turn onto the necessary road that will lead to your necessary destination. Nope. It doesn't. But I blame the kids on bikes that were preventing me from getting where I needed.

I ate half a bag of Starburst jellybeans by consistently saying, "I'll just have one more. Just one more." So much for having any left for Easter.

I read too much. Because that's such a new problem for me that only happens when Andrew is away. I never read.

I disregarded my schedule and my to-do list completely and entirely.

I put my hair up into a horridly unattractive version of Princess Leia's 'do. Apparently sleeping in this suave coiffure helps to make your curls more defined and beautiful the next day. The only downside is that you look like a maniac dork in the process. At least you do by the time you get in enough clips to keep up all of your ridiculously copious amounts of hair in that twisted formation and stuck to your head. Doing that around the most important man in my life? Maybe I'll let him decide if he wants to see it in real life after he reads this post.

I Skyped with Andrew for the first time since our engagement. Since I had already put on my attractive hairstyle, I was forced to wear a jacket over my hair so that Andrew couldn't see. I didn't want Andrew to be so overcome with my beauty and grace over the webcam that he ended up missing me uncontrollably and became miserable because he was so far away from me. Yup. I definitely covered up my hair for his benefit. Fortunately, Skyping helps hide your acne. Unfortunately, it also helps hide how wonderfully groomed your eyebrows are.

I watched horrible YouTube videos like Top 20 Saddest Disney Moments. Because that's a great idea when you're alone, feel sick, and are already feeling borderline emotional due to serious sleep deprivation.

I'm missing Andrew like mad, and apparently it's making me mad. Insane. Do you know what Andrew did? Instead of sleeping an extra night there and catching a morning flight, Andrew got a flight back right after his demo job ended so that I won't be home alone an extra night. Isn't that wonderfully sweet of him? Isn't that so considerate of him to help alleviate the bizarreness that accompanies a sleep deprived, Andrew-missing, very sweet-craving Tashya? I think it is.

And you know what? Rebellious Tashya is about to go back to wherever she came from because Andrew is going to be home tonight. TONIGHT. Thank goodness. I don't know if the good city of Cedar Park can handle any more of Rebel Tash. I don't know if I can. I just want the Evil Throat Dwelling Toad to go away! And since Andrew is my knight in shining armor who carried me off into the sunset, maybe he can do me a favor and joust with this toad. I'll even give him a token to wear during the tournament. Maybe one of my fanged hot dog buns.

I just hope that with Andrew shall come all of the good in the world that was taken away when he left. And by "all of the good," I mean "all of the book control and reason to actually make a meal as opposed to yet another bagel and/or craisins." Because I'm a mess right now, despite my basic socially required grooming habits. However, there really is still good in the world, even when my beloved is so far away. My friend Joy brought me a loaf of Asiago Cheese Bread from Great Harvest, some Kraft singles, and some good old tomato soup. I'm on the road to recovery already!

Maybe that means that I'll be attractive by the time that Andrew gets home. Maybe I should just do the Princess Leia 'do again. That'll be sure to distract him from anything else.

Yup. That's what I'll do.

NOTE: Thank you for the beautiful and encouraging comments on the last blog post about being a happy miserable woman. We appreciate all of the support. You are wonderful.

ANOTHER NOTE: The pictorial quality will increase once I have found my beloved little rose pink mouse. it's still missing! For now, you will just have to glory in my finely crafted sentences. So there.


  1. I love watching the Disney youtube videos. Also, thank you for sharing your husband with me and Justin for a night. I was able to sniff out tendrils of Tashya-ness on him and made me feel a little closer to you.

  2. Gee, thanks for directing me to that youtube video, Tashya. Thanks. A. Lot. Not that it made me cry cause...ya know...I'm too strong for that.

    I'm glad Andrew is home! Yay!

  3. Hhhhh.... I wish you would have called me and then I could have distracted you from the craziness!